What Is Romance to Me?
Honestly… I’m Still Figuring It Out
Romance is one of those things I’ve always been a bit unsure about. I see the big moments in movies — candlelit dinners, surprise weekend getaways, love letters, and slow dances in the kitchen — and I think, “Wow, I’ve never been treated like that.”
And honestly? I don’t even know if I’d like that kind of romance. It seems magical on screen, but in real life, I think romance looks different.
To me, it might be simpler.
Quieter.
Less grand, more real.
Like someone making me a cup of coffee just because.
Or preparing dinner so I can rest.
Or handing me flowers they picked up just because it reminded them of me.
Those are the gestures that speak to me — thoughtful, small, genuine.
Sometimes I dream of a movie night that I didn’t have to plan — just someone else lighting the candles, picking the film, and setting up the cozy sofa nest.
I’d love that.
Romance to me isn’t in the effort I put in, but in someone else thinking of me first — taking the mental load off, just for a little while.
And yes, a super romantic gesture?
Book a meal out.
Book the babysitter.
Plan it all in advance so it’s not a last-minute panic where everyone’s stress levels spike — because let’s be honest, kids like to know the plan too.
And don’t even get me started on the fantasy of a surprise holiday!
Whether it’s a solo retreat, a romantic getaway, or a fun family trip, the thought behind it would mean everything.
To feel seen, considered, and cared for like that?
That’s the real stuff.
I live with chronic pain.
Every day can be unpredictable and exhausting.
But pain doesn’t mean I don’t deserve romance.
It doesn’t mean I don’t want to feel special.
It doesn’t mean I can’t dream of soft moments and thoughtful gestures that say, “I see you.”
So maybe romance to me is less about roses and more about relief.
Less about fireworks and more about feeling safe, loved, and thought of.
Journal Prompts to Explore Your Version of Romance
- What does romance mean to me today?
- Have I ever experienced a romantic gesture that felt truly meaningful?
- Do I tend to give more than I receive in relationships?
- What’s one small romantic gesture that would make my day?
- How do I feel when I’m shown thoughtfulness?
- What would a dream romantic day look like for me?
- Do I feel worthy of love and romance, even on hard days?
- How can I communicate what romance looks like to me?
Romance doesn’t have to be a grand production.
For some of us, it’s a warm cup of tea, a thoughtful message, a quiet night in where we feel truly held.
It’s about intention, care, and the little things that whisper:
“You matter”
So here’s to rethinking romance — simple, soft, and soul-filling.
Because no matter what life throws at us, we all deserve to feel loved.
“Romance isn’t grand gestures or perfect moments—it’s being thought of in the smallest, kindest ways when no one else is looking.”
