What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain.
Stop Asking Me
“How Are You?”
(Unless You Actually Want to Know)
Let’s get one thing straight: I hate being asked,
“How are you?”
Not because I don’t want to talk but because 99% of the time, the person asking does not actually want the answer.
They don’t want to hear about how I just had the most exhilarating sea swim of my life, how the salt water stung my skin in the best way, or how I floated under a pink sunrise and felt like the main character in an indie film.
Nope.
They want
“Fine, and you?”
so they can say,
“Fine, thanks,”
and we can all move on with our lives.
Or, on the flip side, what if I’m not fine?
What if I’m having a bad pain day and feel like a discarded sock?
What if I want to say,
“Honestly, I’m feeling like garbage, and I’d love for someone to bring me coffee or food and tell me everything’s going to be okay”?
That would get me that look—you know the one. The “oh no, emotional overshare” look. Or worse, the concerned “are you depressed?” follow-up.
It’s a trap. A fake question. A social ritual with no real meaning.
But here’s the thing—I love real conversations. I want to hear if you’ve ever tried sea swimming or if you know a secret trick to make cold water feel less like an icy punch to the soul.
I want to tell you if I’m struggling, without it being treated like a cry for help.
I want “How are you?” to be an actual question, not just a verbal placeholder.
So, let’s make a deal and I have this with some great great friends.
If you ask me how I am, mean it.
Be ready for the real answer, whether it’s thrilling, weird, or a bit miserable.
And in return, I’ll ask you the same—and I’ll actually want to know.
So, How Are You Today?
