Building a Ship

Well, I don't know about you, but after quite awhile, I've been anticipating this post, just waiting to write it.

If you were following, well, I decided to leave my blog's 100th post for the eve of my birthday which also happens to be my blog's 2nd anniversary. Just a brief history, 29 January 2008, I started off in blogspot, then after awhile, I moved to mediarakyat.net and then not long after, shifted to mejournals, here, and I believe I'm here to stay. =)

So, how was the last 16 years of life?

Well, I started off as a kid, naughty and talkative kid wherever I went, and so friendly even to a point I would let anyone carry me (according to my mum). I used to like lying, *gasp*, and still have clear memories on the times I have to bend over and get spanking from my mum, but it all was for the better. Entering primary school was no different, still remember the times I chased people around the school or played 'pepsi cola' and how I used to be the MASTER of it, I owned that game. I also almost stood a chance in my school's table tennis team and I just had one more set to win, but nah, didn't make it.

Very soon, I shifted to over to Selangor, and at first, it was YEA! But after awhile, it was HAIZ.. But then, my life in Kidzone started. I've mentioned kidzone in my blog many times already, so you could check it out if you don't know what it is. As I starting to get used to the lifestyle, my spiritual life then started to grow and accelerate so much more. This was when I started to change from kid-ways to more perhaps matured-ways. (Although you see me sometimes acting like a kid, remember, its ACTING. =). As I used to tell my mum when I was in primary school, that somehow, I never had problems mixing around with people. And no doubt, changing to Puay Chai when I was in primary 4 wasn't a problem as I blended in quite well. Then came primary 6 being the tai ko and bullying prefects (ironic eh, since i'm one now). And in primary 6, being under peer pressure and facing teenage-hood, I had my first girlfriend! *gasp* I bet many of you don't know about this, even my family. But very soon I broke up, because I was convicted by God through what my pastor shared about BGR (aka BurGeR or Boy Girl Relationship). Ever since I was proud to tell people that I've gone through it, and having that kind of relationship is a no no at this point.

Well, another big part as I came over is, Kidzone, as mentioned earlier, made up a lot of my life. Starting as being a kid, spectator, to a helper and teacher. Its been an excellent journey and a joyful one no doubt. Meeting people like Ps Andy, Uncle Kim Soon, Aunty Karen, and so many more, especially those who faithfully send me back home every saturday. All their little effort or even much, impacted me one way or the other, they all filled some sort of gap in my life, whether big or small, it was all important nevertheless. Here, this was I grew so much more in my walk with Jesus. Despite not going for youth, I always pressed on to go for Kidzone, and God has blessed me so much. My commitment was so high that there were certain areas that my mum stopped me from going, that was how much I loved it.

So what about my secondary school life? Form 1, 2 passed like wind. If there was anything to remember, I was the assistant head prefect, but the years after that, I regretted not doing so much things, so much things I want to do now but can't do. So form 3 came and PMR was the pressure. Thankfully, God helped me to ace it, except for my chinese. Then quickly was science stream, form 4. Tough year doing many new subjects and going into 'club politics', but although I didn't get what I wanted, God showed me that He had more things planned for me, and it was evident. I managed to buck up my final term exam results, and the year soon ended with me going for 4 camps during the school holidays.

28 days from the 1st of January, and here I am today.

This is going to be a longer post than you think, cause I just have one more thing to write.

You would have noticed, I changed my blog title from "The LIFE Bomber" to "Building a ship" Why? you might ask.

During this years Kidzone Teacher's Retreat, Ps Andy talked about relationship and he touched about blogging, for say 3 minutes? But whatever he said made me do what I'm doing now.

I made one very big mistake throughout my 2 years of blogging, I've always wanted to write to "impact lives and change lives". I've realized one thing, that I can impact lives, but I cannot change lives. Why? This is because I can only do so much, only God can change lives, and takes you to believe it. There was nothing wrong in my previous blog title, because I really just wanted to share my life experiences with everyone. But I also feel that this year, what I really lack, is a relationship with many people. Many times its just high and bye, or perhaps touching on homework. But have I really build a strong relationship with people? Yes, with some, but not with many.

This year and from now on, I want to learn to build that relationship with many people. I have this vivid imagination, that if one day, someone comes to me and says "Wai Leem! I'm very touched by your post!" And then sadly, I have to secretly peek a glance at the name tag and cook up something to encourage or to seem as if I understand what he/she is going through. This ain't the way its suppose to be. I don't just want to cook up some words of encouragement and be off with it. I really want to know that person and really be a what a friend means, that is to know someone WELL.

I'm going for a start!

And now, thanks to a group of AWESOME friends I have in school, I'm off for my pre-birthday party!

17 years old in a few hours time,
Wai Leem =)

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Kidzone 2009 has ended! Everything now, is just a memory, mere reflection of the past.

Indeed  it was a great year, ever since January right up till today's Christmas Celebration, the Kidzone team have indeed grown in stature and in favour of God, the unity and one-ness has increased tremendously. In the end, ALL GLORY and PRAISE to our father, Lord and KING!

This year, we added Kidzone Day of Prayer, a mv challenge  game (Wheel of Fortune), even revision games were all raised up to another level. Even from bible lesson, to memory verse, to object lesson and life application, everyone improved in their own special way, and most importantly, everyone learned and in whatever circumstances, was able to give God the glory.

I truly believe that the Kidzone team has really increased their capacity, in accordance to the church's theme, but it all starts with a willing heart to increase. For many, even myself, wherever I go, I will never find the same team that is present here today. Someone once asked me whether I will want to go back to Kuching to stay or not, I said that I would be really really happy to do so, and the only thing that will hold me from doing that is this team of teachers and helpers, faithfully serving God every week without complain but with full excitement and enthusiasm to impact the lives of children. This is a team and more of a family, that I will regret leaving behind.

Kidzone made up a lot of my life. I started as a kid in Kidzone, an audience to the teachers. Then when I was 11, I was selected to attend a Monday night cell group thing. There I really grew in the Lord under the leadership of my dearest Pastor, Pastor Andy. So as I became 13, I started to serve in Kidzone as a service back to them, more of a sign of appreciation for what they have done for me. But as time grew by, I caught unto the vision, the vision and goal of Kidzone, that is "to train a children in a way that he should go, that when he is old, he will not depart for it" I truly believed in that vision and that was when my service in Kidzone was not people centered but turned into God centered purpose. Even after 4 years in the ministry, I'm glad to say that I'm a Kidzone teacher and I'm also glad to say that I'm not free on Saturdays because a child's life is important to God.

Many people started to come on board, some adults and some youths like me. And those who knew my 'grieve' when I saw people around me start to pick up in skills and start to excel way better than me, I was discouraged. Well, those people did come from school, but there were some who also came from church, from this ministry. Not that I despise them to be better than me, but I've always wondered where would be prominent. I write this post, is because everything suddenly dawn upon me that when the phrase, "not everyone is prominent, but everyone is SIGNIFICANT" is spoken, it really carries a strong meaning for me. Also, my Pastor has also been saying, "I have seen many increase their capacity, NOT JUST IN SKILL SET, but also IN GOD" I took it very well, but I never really had that kind of revelation that I just had, to realize that people define you not as what you do, but who you are. In fact, Christians should not look at skill set, rather focus on the person, and the relationship with God. I was blinded by trying to be someone prominent in what I do,  obviously to the fact that my relationship with God is far more important than skill sets. For this year, I tried being on top, but instead, I've really learned to understand that there is also a need of people to "fill in the blanks". I'm glad that God indeed gave me that chance to "cover holes".

Before I finish, I would like to thank every teacher and helper, because you all gave essence to the whole team and to me. Giving me a sense of belonging and I know truly, that this team is more than a team, its really a family. In the prefect board, we like to say that we are family, but I would like to propose that you join Kidzone and really see what a family is, then you would understand how awesome and exciting when a strong family is present.

Specifically thanks to Pastor Andy and Alice for being there whenever I needed to really give me the sense of family, also to che che Fay Cheng for faithfully fetching me home without complain, che che Wai Yi and Shen who have been patient with me when I was playing piano for Kidzone, Uncle Kim Soon, Aunty Karen, Uncle Nick and Aunty Noelle for being excellent superintendents and keeping Kidzone in order, koko Vincent, koko Veng Lye, koko Nicholas and the rest of the gang for always brightening up our day. Many more indeed, but I can't remember all, sorry people. But remember, everyone is SIGNIFICANT! Amen?

So that's the end of Kidzone 2009, and it has been a fantastical, awesome, splendid, indescribable and BREATHTAKING year. I believe, we have a lot ahead of us, so all of us! Let's get ready for another year of EXCITEMENT!

Kidzone teacher,
Wai leem

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Everyone, welcome to my 90th post of my blog! WOOHOO!

Yes, many have reached way above 100, but as for me, I have made it thus far, and I'm glad at it. So welcome to my 90th post, as I recap and unify all 25 lessons that I have previously written. Something I call the unifying lessons to reach the goal of application.

Let us begin a journey that I will embark, shall we?

We all know that life is unfair, but before we can move on, we got to learn how to embrace it and do something about it, rather than just complain and speak, we should use our hands and work the plow (Lesson 8). Now knowing that we got to do something, we also have to know to stay whole and not sway with our character and values. We got to learn integrity, by living our private life the same as our public life, and not be "good here bad there", basically, walk the talk (Lesson 7). Therefore in life, by being whole and having integrity, we got to learn to make our stand, stands on values, stands on politics, stands on religion, stands on the economy, stands on social issues, etc (Lesson 17). Knowing to have integrity and make our stands, we got to first of all accept it, because we have don't even accept it, we cannot live it (Lesson 16). Then after accepting, we got to apply it because acceptance without application is useless (Lesson 11).

In fact, in life, personally, it doesn't suck, but problems and hindrances try to make it suck and we must learn to overcome them (Lesson 2). But if we don't know what drives us to move on, we will only be stagnant in front of the problem, and so we have to identify what drives us (Lesson 5). Now knowing what drives us, we got to place our passion at the right place because everyone is passionate, but its what we are passionate about which counts more (Lesson 10). But even if life now turns out well, we must continue to remain humble, a critical attitude in order to continue learning and to teach and pick others up on their feet (Lesson 23). In the midst of this, never boast about what we have achieved but take it as a blessing and continue to be humble (Lesson 24). But sometimes we are so near yet so far because when we set our priorities and start doing well in certain areas, we end up forgetting the other parts of life (Lesson 13). That is why we need to understand our focus and set our focal points because we have to major and major and minor and minor (Lesson 22).

When we do things, we also have to know that sometimes its not always about the work that needs to be right, but instead it should be our attitude first which needs to be made right (Lesson 4). Once we got our attitude right, that isn't enough, because we got to let it get an A1, so that wherever we go, its the best character for all (Lesson 21). As we aim to reach an excellent character and attitude, we then got to understand that doing things and doing it well, are 2 major differences (Lesson 1), or in other words we got to do things to our best, the very best, and doing the best is indeed being professional in what we do (Lesson 20). But doing this well, will there karma? Is there an opposite reaction? There is nothing to worry, because as long as we do our very best, God will guide and lead us through (Lesson 25).

We also got to change to become paradigm shifters and change mindsets and the way of thinking in a positive way than to sit around and follow norms or "traditions" (Lesson 9). But in the midst of change at home, we still cannot take our parents lightly like a toothbrush (Lesson 3) and we must respect and honour them, all the more so knowing the importance of it in the bible (Lesson 18). Therefore, mean what you say, whether at home, in school or any where else, we have to watch over our use of tongue (Lesson 6). At times, we end up winning, but we must ask, did we really win? Because some people cheat to win, bribe to win, but they don't really end up winning, so when we win, ask ourselves whether we have really won (Lesson 19). But sadly, the world is such that after we have won, be reminded that there is someone out there, who is better than you and strive to improve rather than be discourage and give up (Lesson 15). But we can have the assurance not to be the best, but to have hope in God, so that in whatever we do, as long as it is pleasing and glorifying unto God, we just have to do our part and God will be there for us (Lesson 12).

So all in all, I do all these so that I can change to be a better person and by being a better person I hope to impact others so that others can impact others and it goes on and on, because I do believe that the very little that I do, I and so do you, can make a difference in one's life (Lesson 14). It is said, "I cannot change the world, but I can change the world of one"

I'm aiming high, but more importantly, I have to stay high and last long, oh help me God.

Love,
Wai Leem

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