Building a Ship

Yes, I'm back in business.

Before I continue with all the tons of work that needs to be done desperately, I also need to write this as a reminder to everyone, so I'll keep it short and simple.

And particular, I hope that there is this certain group that will read it.

Lesson26#:
Openness

During the recent event, Merentas Desa 2010, which I wrote about in my previous post, there have been a lot of complains especially from those who were disqualified.

But the interesting part was this, news came to my ears that some who openly cursed them either upfront or even sarcastically, were called to have a little chit chat, and they were asked to apologize otherwise discipline action will be taken. And yes, news came to me that they were pissed ALL THE MORE.

So what's my point here? Now I'm not saying that cursing a group of people for their failed action is a good thing or it should have been done, I also do think that it is in fact not that good, but I want to shift to the attention of those receiving the criticism.

Openness, is something I've learn to develop over time. Its something hard to birth but yet it can be so very useful in life.

Basically, as insults and criticism is thrown at us, it is always not about reacting, but responding. Reacting would mean upon receiving an insult, an action is immediately produce to counter it, most of the time, it doesn't go through thinking, rather mainly emotional reaction. Whereas responding would require one to actually sit down and think before taking an action.

Perhaps those who insulted them should have apologized also, but to FORCE someone to apologize and to act as if being insulted is a BIG THING, something seems so wrong about it. Take for example the prefects, we practically get insulted from the time we start officially being a prefect, to the time we finish our term. Only those who stand out as a people person would be safe from harm, otherwise, trust me, no student actually likes the prefects.

So my point here is, be open about it, don't react and cause small things to become a big issue, to a point as if the world will fall. When I heard about the news, I was all the more sadden because when people know about this, it just speaks to the world that that group is just unable to handle criticism. I do acknowledge the hard work and effort put into all these, but since matters are bad, spend time fixing it than to make matters worse.

Please, be open.

Concerned runner,
Wai Leem

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If I'm not mistaken, this is a title of an album by Reuben Morgan.

Today's CF committee meeting really opened up my eyes on certain things. Certain things that I realized I have not been doing or perhaps avoided or even neglected doing.

After much talking with Jo Fan, which he seems rather frustrated (sorry Jo Fan). I nevertheless needed answers. In the end, I realized 2 things.

Relationship and the Expression of it.

In CF today I talked about relationship with God, and ultimately, that is what he is looking for. But what I didn't share, was what would or should happen next is actually the expression of it. What kind of expression? This is something Jo Fan didn't explain but he put it in a way that I realized something.

When we were talking about recess revolution, I asked him what are we going to do, he said we will do something, but I don't know what. At first, that to me, is not my culture, but I accepted his premise anyway. But what I think he meant and perhaps what is also true, is that when we have a relationship with God, we will slowly catch on to His heart. When we have the heart of God, one words stands out among the rest, that is COMPASSION. Compassion in simple words is this, loving from the heart to the hand, which in itself defines the relationship with God from the heart, and the expression of it through our hands.

Then I concluded again, that this is indeed, seeing the world through His eyes. But it cannot be done without a relationship.

So despite my restriction to Kidzone for this year, I believe that God has a reason for it. God is calling me to do something, perhaps like Jo Fan, I DON'T KNOW WHAT, but I believe just as he believes, God will ultimately show the way, all God is waiting for, is our one step closer towards him.

"Father, forgive me, for at times, I have been ignorant and unteachable. Teach me Lord your ways that I may know you more. And ultimately, may your name be glorified and magnified in my school, that not just CF will have a relationship with you, but the school, students, teachers, admins, will come to know who you really are. In Jesus name, Amen."

God is awesome,
Wai Leem
p/s: I believe God also had his timing because I recently obtained an album by Steven Curtis Chapman, and about 5 songs spoke so clearly to me. I knew I had to write this post.

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My previous post, indeed, was about graduation day.

Little did I realize, its near the end, end of my high school life, in just another year. I really love what Nicholas wrote in this post, read it.

Well, during the graduation day, I did hear many people saying things like next year is our turn, so fast la, we should appreciate every moment and etc. But it never came across my mind that bad, as it did now.

Just a couple of hours ago, I was talking with a friend on the phone, and I said that the one and only reason I stay in the prefectorial board now, is because I love the connection and interaction with people, something I realize not many love doing.

But yet, to have the desire and fully realizing that its coming to an end, at times, I wished I did better, at times I just wanted to be where they were, but sometimes, certain factors doesn't permit me. The people I meet tomorrow, I might never meet again in just another year, the people I worked with and argued with, I will not have them to support me and at times, teach me anymore. So, what does all these come down to?

Like what Nicholas said, we got to treasure every moment that we have, here and there of.

Whether in the prefect board, like Ray Aun, Wan Jin, Hong Ken, Timothy Goh, Nicholas, Tian Yoon, Ley Kuan and etc.

Or whether in the CF, Yu Song, Grace, Germaine, Eelaine, Jo Fan, Timothy. I don't count aaron because I'll see him in church anyway.

Maybe those friends I've met in my class, Chun Yeen, Ching Yeap, Suat Li, Hoong Kiat, Sian Wei, Ryan, Daenevan.

Even teachers, Mr William, Miss Sharmini, Pn Lan, Ms Toh, Pn Chee, or trainee teachers like Ms Koh and fellow discipline teachers like Mr Lean, Pn Joyce, Pn Hoon.

Why? Because we will never ever find the same person anywhere in the world, but them, as we meet them everyday. Treasure it, whether in the midst of arguement, joy, fun or even discouraging times, because we will never see the exact replica of that person in years to come.

A note to my juniors, to enjoy all that you can and be glad to meet whoever you meet. And as for my peers, let's treasure every second that we have, shall we?

Love,
Wai Leem
p/s: Names NOT mentioned here, its okay, because there would be too many to type, but everyone is as dear to me. Once a friend asked, who is your bestest of best friend, I said I don't know, because I believe one is just as best as the other.

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In accordance with my previous post.

I feel like I really lost touch of my 'circle of friends'. Not that I have no more, but I just don't feel connected to many people anymore.

It is as if people have started to grow links and produce more connections, and here I am, stagnant, no new friendship, gone no where.

This is not good.

Sorry all, if I hadn't been there with you. I guess I have some issues that I have to fix with myself too.

Wai Leem.

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On the 28, 29 of October and 2 of November, I took this great opportunity, and chance, to NOT GO TO school. Yes, JOY indeed.

Most of the time, I still woke up relatively early, around 8, though much later than usual, and I would be doing my own things. On the computer, books, some chinese essays and A LOT of cleaning to do.

It was also interesting even as I was cleaning my room, then certain objects that I saw, letters, magazines, name tags, booklets, etc. just brought me into memories even as I think back of what I could have done, or said, and some stuff I shouldn't have also done.

In the midst of all these, one thing I know is that it has past and now, I have to move on, learning from it. But the more amazing thing was, there also were certain things that have not changed in me, and I try remembering it, find ways to change, and stuff. All these started, as I clean my room. So the moral of the story is? Clean your room. Sometimes, you might be, just might be surprised at what you might find laying around in those drawers.

So yea, 3 quarters of my time was cleaning, the rest was reminiscing the past. So yes, it was a joyous time that I had at home. Yet.. things were going on in school, did I miss out anything?

For the past 3 days that I didn't go to school, I did ask what was going on, and did any teacher teach and such. Yes, most of the time, the answer made me feel that I made the right choice not to go to school. Yet, today, Jo Fan asked me a question "do we have to be there for something?"

At first, I was like "there's something on that I need to be there?" Soon after, I started to see the light in a whole different manner, especially when I read this story. To cut a long story short, A man saw a boy throwing starfishes into the sea and the boy replied, the tide is pulling away, if they don't get into the sea, they will all die. But the man looked at the stretch of the beach and there were just too many starfishes, so he said, "you would not be able to throw all of them into the sea, it makes NO DIFFERENCE." The boy just looked at him, then bend down and throw another starfish into the sea and said, "It made a difference for that one" Wow

Yes, at times, we really cannot impact everyone, we cannot please everyone, but whoever we can please, whoever we can bring an impact, we can start to make a difference with that one life.

What hit me was, what am I doing here at home? I have the opportunity to make a difference, but I'm not doing it in school, why? However, remember earlier about what I said about cleaning the drawers, I realized, how can impact if I hadn't "clean my drawers" and have the desire to change? I would still be the unpolished Wai leem, having fellowship with friends until only a certain level, then other factors become limiting factors.

How joyous it is to stay at home though working yet relaxing, but am I missing out on what I could bring to others?
Ans: Yes it is joyous, but just like Jonah who needs to be mould before he could proclaim the gospel, I too need to realize certain areas in my life, change, and then make that difference. Yes I do miss out on some stuff, but sometimes, sacrifice brings much good later.

So I'm going to skip another day of school and also next monday and tuesday because plans were pre-planned way way ahead, I cannot cancel them, but I will go to school and be a friend to everyone around me.

mercy,
Wai Leem
p/s: My point being, not going to school isn't bad, but we need to also have the balance between the 2. If not going to school is over done, it segregates us from our social life, then that's not good. My next monday and tuesday are plans that are not personal but i'm out with somebody, and thus social element is there.

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