Building a Ship

If I'm not mistaken, this is a title of an album by Reuben Morgan.

Today's CF committee meeting really opened up my eyes on certain things. Certain things that I realized I have not been doing or perhaps avoided or even neglected doing.

After much talking with Jo Fan, which he seems rather frustrated (sorry Jo Fan). I nevertheless needed answers. In the end, I realized 2 things.

Relationship and the Expression of it.

In CF today I talked about relationship with God, and ultimately, that is what he is looking for. But what I didn't share, was what would or should happen next is actually the expression of it. What kind of expression? This is something Jo Fan didn't explain but he put it in a way that I realized something.

When we were talking about recess revolution, I asked him what are we going to do, he said we will do something, but I don't know what. At first, that to me, is not my culture, but I accepted his premise anyway. But what I think he meant and perhaps what is also true, is that when we have a relationship with God, we will slowly catch on to His heart. When we have the heart of God, one words stands out among the rest, that is COMPASSION. Compassion in simple words is this, loving from the heart to the hand, which in itself defines the relationship with God from the heart, and the expression of it through our hands.

Then I concluded again, that this is indeed, seeing the world through His eyes. But it cannot be done without a relationship.

So despite my restriction to Kidzone for this year, I believe that God has a reason for it. God is calling me to do something, perhaps like Jo Fan, I DON'T KNOW WHAT, but I believe just as he believes, God will ultimately show the way, all God is waiting for, is our one step closer towards him.

"Father, forgive me, for at times, I have been ignorant and unteachable. Teach me Lord your ways that I may know you more. And ultimately, may your name be glorified and magnified in my school, that not just CF will have a relationship with you, but the school, students, teachers, admins, will come to know who you really are. In Jesus name, Amen."

God is awesome,
Wai Leem
p/s: I believe God also had his timing because I recently obtained an album by Steven Curtis Chapman, and about 5 songs spoke so clearly to me. I knew I had to write this post.

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Yes indeed, for many of you bloggers, this last post for the year is like a must!

Honestly, I didn't read many blogs to see what others have written and to know what they perceive of this year. Well, my previous post are all generally long, so I'll keep this as short as I can.

Honestly, this year is indeed a good year as a whole, though there were some bad parts here and there, nevertheless, it didn't stop me to do what I do.

Let's have some good news then, starting off with winning the drama competition national level and getting a opportunity to become a CF president. There is nothing much I can say, just look back at those previous post and you will know what happened.

As for the bad parts, results, sadly is one of the factors again, which includes my first time failing in a subject. Thank God I never went into depression or that sort like last year. Another major issue is in the board of Prefects whereby I didn't succeed in getting the position of a Head Prefect.

But what do I really think of this year? Despite the good and bad?

Well, personally for me, I lost my sense of priorities. Which subsequently affected my results and personal relationship with some people.

I'm glad on one issue is that I have a stand, and I placed my stand so firmly on the ground, that whatever has happened in the board of Prefects cannot shake me. Ray Aun asked me to work my 'magic' and I am, and I'm glad to know that what I do is not based on peer pressure, not based on the surroundings, but on my belief. Previous years, I have always easily conformed to certain standards and agreements by following the majority. There is a post that I have written, a lesson in fact, called "stand". It clearly states that if we do not stand firm, we easily fall for the world. I made my stand, that is why nothing can take me away from what I believe in.

Which brings me to the Christian Fellowship. I'm very grateful and thankful to get this opportunity, and I really appreciate the current committee that I have. This is another perfect example of a crazy yet serious bunch of people, aside from Kidzone. They really have the desire and passion in what they do, and I pray that as we enter 2010, nothing can stop them.

Speaking of which, Kidzone has indeed risen another level, grown their capacity. It is simply amazing. The joy every week, despite a tiring week, and the enthusiasm to serve the kids is just spectacular. Nothing can beat this team of people. And no doubt, I'm not just glad to be a part, I'm excited. Each and everyone of them have been an example to me in various ways, as I bring it into my school, I have indeed learn so much, more than words could express.

More than words could express the joy, of victory, as I am reminded yet again on the joyous victory of the national level drama competition. I love acting, and I have indeed got this opportunity and this honour. I doubt I will join next year, but this is really a great experience, something I will surely never forget.

Speaking of opportunity, I was asked to go for a camp done by the MPPJ city council. In the end, its about forming a child council to basically make PJ city a Child Friendly City. What I went through this year, really was just the beginning, and I'm anticipating more to come. Finally, my dream to serve the community around me is slowly coming through.

Well, these are just the major ones which I have experience throughout the year. 2010 is surely another set of different tides, different waves, but bring it on, I'm ready to step into the first decade of the 21st century.

So, I'm ready, are you?

In for another awesome year,
Wai Leem

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"Wake up! Its the season of the year!........"

For those who knew, my church had a musical for the Christmas season, the musical was entitled season of the year. But don't worry, I'm not going to talk about the musical, though it was splendid, I should say.

Well, Christmas is over, A new year is dawning. For me, this season of the year, wasn't as grand, wasn't as WOW, wasn't something that I looked forward to. Not that there was something unhappy or discontented about it, just that, it didn't have that excitement that it used to be.

Before Christmas came, a group of Kidzone teachers were just sharing about what Christmas means to them. Well, for some, they didn't grow up celebrating it, yet for some, it was a gathering of families, and for some, it was a indeed a season of relax and remembering the reason for the season. I grew up in a Christian home, Christmas was celebrated every year, and I DO KNOW what its all about, and indeed its about the birth of Jesus, who came to sacrifice His life for many. Every year, I hear and at times say the same thing, because no doubt it is true, but over the years, it became a knowledge than a conviction.

Because of that, I didn't feel the "wow, Jesus came to save me" feeling.

As I pondered why this is happening, I remembered seeing this video in my youth camp, the camp I mentioned in my earlier post. Its called "That's my King" As I just happen to remember about it, and since at that point in time, my computer was right in front of me, I went to search for it in Youtube and watched it again. After I watched it, I could only think of one thing. How can I not celebrate, if 'THAT'S MY KING'? I surely have to!

Not that I'm obliged, but because he is that kind of KING, I want to celebrate! Then onwards, I celebrated Christmas this year a very different way, though not loud and screamy, but subtle and truly from my heart. This is year, is indeed different.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all, remember, That's OUR King.

Wai Leem

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Kidzone 2009 has ended! Everything now, is just a memory, mere reflection of the past.

Indeed  it was a great year, ever since January right up till today's Christmas Celebration, the Kidzone team have indeed grown in stature and in favour of God, the unity and one-ness has increased tremendously. In the end, ALL GLORY and PRAISE to our father, Lord and KING!

This year, we added Kidzone Day of Prayer, a mv challenge  game (Wheel of Fortune), even revision games were all raised up to another level. Even from bible lesson, to memory verse, to object lesson and life application, everyone improved in their own special way, and most importantly, everyone learned and in whatever circumstances, was able to give God the glory.

I truly believe that the Kidzone team has really increased their capacity, in accordance to the church's theme, but it all starts with a willing heart to increase. For many, even myself, wherever I go, I will never find the same team that is present here today. Someone once asked me whether I will want to go back to Kuching to stay or not, I said that I would be really really happy to do so, and the only thing that will hold me from doing that is this team of teachers and helpers, faithfully serving God every week without complain but with full excitement and enthusiasm to impact the lives of children. This is a team and more of a family, that I will regret leaving behind.

Kidzone made up a lot of my life. I started as a kid in Kidzone, an audience to the teachers. Then when I was 11, I was selected to attend a Monday night cell group thing. There I really grew in the Lord under the leadership of my dearest Pastor, Pastor Andy. So as I became 13, I started to serve in Kidzone as a service back to them, more of a sign of appreciation for what they have done for me. But as time grew by, I caught unto the vision, the vision and goal of Kidzone, that is "to train a children in a way that he should go, that when he is old, he will not depart for it" I truly believed in that vision and that was when my service in Kidzone was not people centered but turned into God centered purpose. Even after 4 years in the ministry, I'm glad to say that I'm a Kidzone teacher and I'm also glad to say that I'm not free on Saturdays because a child's life is important to God.

Many people started to come on board, some adults and some youths like me. And those who knew my 'grieve' when I saw people around me start to pick up in skills and start to excel way better than me, I was discouraged. Well, those people did come from school, but there were some who also came from church, from this ministry. Not that I despise them to be better than me, but I've always wondered where would be prominent. I write this post, is because everything suddenly dawn upon me that when the phrase, "not everyone is prominent, but everyone is SIGNIFICANT" is spoken, it really carries a strong meaning for me. Also, my Pastor has also been saying, "I have seen many increase their capacity, NOT JUST IN SKILL SET, but also IN GOD" I took it very well, but I never really had that kind of revelation that I just had, to realize that people define you not as what you do, but who you are. In fact, Christians should not look at skill set, rather focus on the person, and the relationship with God. I was blinded by trying to be someone prominent in what I do,  obviously to the fact that my relationship with God is far more important than skill sets. For this year, I tried being on top, but instead, I've really learned to understand that there is also a need of people to "fill in the blanks". I'm glad that God indeed gave me that chance to "cover holes".

Before I finish, I would like to thank every teacher and helper, because you all gave essence to the whole team and to me. Giving me a sense of belonging and I know truly, that this team is more than a team, its really a family. In the prefect board, we like to say that we are family, but I would like to propose that you join Kidzone and really see what a family is, then you would understand how awesome and exciting when a strong family is present.

Specifically thanks to Pastor Andy and Alice for being there whenever I needed to really give me the sense of family, also to che che Fay Cheng for faithfully fetching me home without complain, che che Wai Yi and Shen who have been patient with me when I was playing piano for Kidzone, Uncle Kim Soon, Aunty Karen, Uncle Nick and Aunty Noelle for being excellent superintendents and keeping Kidzone in order, koko Vincent, koko Veng Lye, koko Nicholas and the rest of the gang for always brightening up our day. Many more indeed, but I can't remember all, sorry people. But remember, everyone is SIGNIFICANT! Amen?

So that's the end of Kidzone 2009, and it has been a fantastical, awesome, splendid, indescribable and BREATHTAKING year. I believe, we have a lot ahead of us, so all of us! Let's get ready for another year of EXCITEMENT!

Kidzone teacher,
Wai leem

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My previous post, indeed, was about graduation day.

Little did I realize, its near the end, end of my high school life, in just another year. I really love what Nicholas wrote in this post, read it.

Well, during the graduation day, I did hear many people saying things like next year is our turn, so fast la, we should appreciate every moment and etc. But it never came across my mind that bad, as it did now.

Just a couple of hours ago, I was talking with a friend on the phone, and I said that the one and only reason I stay in the prefectorial board now, is because I love the connection and interaction with people, something I realize not many love doing.

But yet, to have the desire and fully realizing that its coming to an end, at times, I wished I did better, at times I just wanted to be where they were, but sometimes, certain factors doesn't permit me. The people I meet tomorrow, I might never meet again in just another year, the people I worked with and argued with, I will not have them to support me and at times, teach me anymore. So, what does all these come down to?

Like what Nicholas said, we got to treasure every moment that we have, here and there of.

Whether in the prefect board, like Ray Aun, Wan Jin, Hong Ken, Timothy Goh, Nicholas, Tian Yoon, Ley Kuan and etc.

Or whether in the CF, Yu Song, Grace, Germaine, Eelaine, Jo Fan, Timothy. I don't count aaron because I'll see him in church anyway.

Maybe those friends I've met in my class, Chun Yeen, Ching Yeap, Suat Li, Hoong Kiat, Sian Wei, Ryan, Daenevan.

Even teachers, Mr William, Miss Sharmini, Pn Lan, Ms Toh, Pn Chee, or trainee teachers like Ms Koh and fellow discipline teachers like Mr Lean, Pn Joyce, Pn Hoon.

Why? Because we will never ever find the same person anywhere in the world, but them, as we meet them everyday. Treasure it, whether in the midst of arguement, joy, fun or even discouraging times, because we will never see the exact replica of that person in years to come.

A note to my juniors, to enjoy all that you can and be glad to meet whoever you meet. And as for my peers, let's treasure every second that we have, shall we?

Love,
Wai Leem
p/s: Names NOT mentioned here, its okay, because there would be too many to type, but everyone is as dear to me. Once a friend asked, who is your bestest of best friend, I said I don't know, because I believe one is just as best as the other.

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Well, I don't know how many people will also have the same title, but no doubt, it was really true. Today did start with a "bang", literally.

It was the typical morning assembly where students gathered, but today was different. Today is the last day for the form 5s and upper 6 students. Today was their graduation day. So besides the form 5 and 6, there were hardly any other students present, except for all those who had to perform or did the line of honour. So after a couple of announcements, the students were asked to go back to class when suddenly....

....BANG!!

It was loud, really loud, so loud that it caught some people jumping off their feet. So that's where the excitement starts. I saw Pn Joyce elegantly walking towards the origin of the sound and as she passed us, she quickly told us to locate the culprite.

But the thing was we could not locate that fella, so everything went into danger mode. Head of spotchecks were immediately called to assemble prefects and spotcheck. I don't know how many classes we spotchecked, but accordingly, we didn't manage to do all the classes. The cool part was, all these turned into a threat as we said that if whoever did it does not reveal him/herself, then the whole form 5 would sufer greatly because illegal items especially handphones will be consfiscated. Even after the teacher's threat, Timothy Goh also made another public threat. So yea, that is how the form 5s start their last day in school.

Throughout this whole time, the spotchecks were fun, but what was more fun-er was that we came up with some theories behind this happening. (It's all joke, so to certain people who read this, this is all JUST FOR FUN, adding essence into our daily life)

1st. We have a Osama apprentice trying out with fire crackers first, and his alias is Osama Tan. (and because he didn't try the real thing, next year will be our turn to do the REAL STUFF.)

but that isn't as cool. This one is better.

2nd. Mr Lean secretly lighted one and dropped it there. Why? So that all these spotchecks can go on and we can consfiscate all the handphones. Then today when all the students have gone back home, they will be rejoicing in the discipline room with all the handphones. Then the next day, don't be surprised if you see a store at digital mall with a overhead banner saying "Lembaga Disiplin" and they are selling handphones.

This is what happens when something drastic occurs, theories make up so much fun. It spreaded to a point that even the form 6s were also checked.

My day also ended with a bang. Both literally and figuratively.

The CF with conjoined effort with the computer club were doing the line of honour and  before we got ready, someone suggested to do the can can! So we quickly thought of how we could do it and then practised. But that isn't all. We first pulled Kelab Kebudayaan in and they happily joined, followed by Kumpulan Harmonica and Guitar. PMO was about to, but Hong Ken wouldn't allow, taekwando almost but also didn't in the end. But I tell you, no matter who joined, whoever did had a whole lot of fun and laughing, not just doing it but also the process of it. I personally laughed until my jaws hurt.

So that was the figurative bang.

Sadly for many, who joined in the first literal BANG, didn't get to experience the last one. While I was in the CF room, it went off again, I personally didn't see who, but some CF members saw. But because this time it was even closer to me, the BANG was even louder.

So in the end, my day started with a BANG, ended with a BANG. It couldn't have gotten any better. WHAT A DAY!

Thank you Lord, for a BANG-FUL day.

Wai Leem

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In accordance with my previous post.

I feel like I really lost touch of my 'circle of friends'. Not that I have no more, but I just don't feel connected to many people anymore.

It is as if people have started to grow links and produce more connections, and here I am, stagnant, no new friendship, gone no where.

This is not good.

Sorry all, if I hadn't been there with you. I guess I have some issues that I have to fix with myself too.

Wai Leem.

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On the 28, 29 of October and 2 of November, I took this great opportunity, and chance, to NOT GO TO school. Yes, JOY indeed.

Most of the time, I still woke up relatively early, around 8, though much later than usual, and I would be doing my own things. On the computer, books, some chinese essays and A LOT of cleaning to do.

It was also interesting even as I was cleaning my room, then certain objects that I saw, letters, magazines, name tags, booklets, etc. just brought me into memories even as I think back of what I could have done, or said, and some stuff I shouldn't have also done.

In the midst of all these, one thing I know is that it has past and now, I have to move on, learning from it. But the more amazing thing was, there also were certain things that have not changed in me, and I try remembering it, find ways to change, and stuff. All these started, as I clean my room. So the moral of the story is? Clean your room. Sometimes, you might be, just might be surprised at what you might find laying around in those drawers.

So yea, 3 quarters of my time was cleaning, the rest was reminiscing the past. So yes, it was a joyous time that I had at home. Yet.. things were going on in school, did I miss out anything?

For the past 3 days that I didn't go to school, I did ask what was going on, and did any teacher teach and such. Yes, most of the time, the answer made me feel that I made the right choice not to go to school. Yet, today, Jo Fan asked me a question "do we have to be there for something?"

At first, I was like "there's something on that I need to be there?" Soon after, I started to see the light in a whole different manner, especially when I read this story. To cut a long story short, A man saw a boy throwing starfishes into the sea and the boy replied, the tide is pulling away, if they don't get into the sea, they will all die. But the man looked at the stretch of the beach and there were just too many starfishes, so he said, "you would not be able to throw all of them into the sea, it makes NO DIFFERENCE." The boy just looked at him, then bend down and throw another starfish into the sea and said, "It made a difference for that one" Wow

Yes, at times, we really cannot impact everyone, we cannot please everyone, but whoever we can please, whoever we can bring an impact, we can start to make a difference with that one life.

What hit me was, what am I doing here at home? I have the opportunity to make a difference, but I'm not doing it in school, why? However, remember earlier about what I said about cleaning the drawers, I realized, how can impact if I hadn't "clean my drawers" and have the desire to change? I would still be the unpolished Wai leem, having fellowship with friends until only a certain level, then other factors become limiting factors.

How joyous it is to stay at home though working yet relaxing, but am I missing out on what I could bring to others?
Ans: Yes it is joyous, but just like Jonah who needs to be mould before he could proclaim the gospel, I too need to realize certain areas in my life, change, and then make that difference. Yes I do miss out on some stuff, but sometimes, sacrifice brings much good later.

So I'm going to skip another day of school and also next monday and tuesday because plans were pre-planned way way ahead, I cannot cancel them, but I will go to school and be a friend to everyone around me.

mercy,
Wai Leem
p/s: My point being, not going to school isn't bad, but we need to also have the balance between the 2. If not going to school is over done, it segregates us from our social life, then that's not good. My next monday and tuesday are plans that are not personal but i'm out with somebody, and thus social element is there.

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Keep it short this time.

My brother's friend died a few months ago. And the thing about that was, just a few days before he died, it was the first time i met him as my brother bumped into him just outside SS2 Macdonalds. Said hi and such, and soon, we were on our way.

Few days later, my brothers told my parents that they were going for a wake service, so i asked who died? Who'd knew? it was that very friend i saw few days ago. I was shocked. He wasn't sick, he looked all fine and well, looked rather cheerful with a smile, I cannot believe he died!

But i had no feelings, mainly because i never really knew him. But the interesting thing was, apparently, he died because of stress, overstressed himself somehow, and his body cannot take it. In the end, sadly, he died.

Sadly, I feel like i'm going through the same thing. EXTREME STRESS. Its just 2 big events, and i'm already stressed, while some people have tons of them, and yet don't feel a thing at all. But i guess everyone has their limits, certain people cannot cross a certain amount, some people can. And for the past few days, i believe I have been pushed to the limit, both physically and mentally.

Drained from my body, i can hardly concentrate until i get everything finalised. All i hope for now, is to get this thing over with, just 1 more week, and then another, and its all done. But as for now, I got to hold myself, and focus at the finishing line. Everything is crashing down on me the past few days, as much as i delegate work, it still isn't done.

But during the rakan muda masyarakat held last Saturday, i remember one thing a group wrote. "Never (to the power of 222) give up" Wow, its really never, and i will not stop what my team have started, I WILL NOT STOP! So I will regain my composure, and fight this till the end.

Love,
Wai Leem
p/s: Christians out there reading this, please pray for me, first time that i'm going through so much, but I like the experience, and believe that God is telling me that I'm going to fail if I don't look to him. Thank you.

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Today, rushing to the bus stop because was late to go back home, to on the pump for my grandmother to take her bath.

Like any other day, walked to the bus stop, sat down, took out a book and read it. Soon saw a bus, but it stopped at a distance, already i was expecting to meet a CHS-ian. Finally it came and i got on it. So from the point i stepped out of school until the bus stop, it was a normal, typical day. Until i got on.

As I watched my steps up  the bus, and scanned for that CHS-ian, i saw, Chao Yan!? what the.. what on earth is she doing here? And as the bus started to move, I could have literally fell backwards both in shock and inertia. So i got a seat near her, and talked to her. Not even a minute, after realizing that she was on her way to tuition using bus, since the taxi fares went up, she told me that E-Jia was in front! Amazed and glad, i saw my 2 friends, first 2 friends i ever made in CHS.

E-Jia was shocked to see me, but she came over, and we 3 just started talking about our past and the times we sat together, it was so nostalgic.

First day of school in CHS. "Ring--------------------" Prefects getting the students into the hall, i followed along. Then after the assembly, i went into class, being pushed aside by Ooi Joshua for a seat, and had to stand. I think the next day, teacher rearranged our seats, and that's when i sat next to Chao Yan, with E-Jia just directly behind me. My friendship with Chao Yan started with this sentence "Can i borrow a ruler", "Sure" replied Chao Yan. whereas for E-jia, i can't remember. So that year we three sat together and yea, to answer one of many questions, it was surely hard to study with all the chattering.

But as the year ended with me becoming a prefect, i took a different road and they took theirs. Our friendship became just a "hi" and"bye" and a smile, with occasionally "hi 5's" with Chao Yan.

But today in that bus, I realized that no matter what kind of friendship it is, whether its a hi bye type, or being with each other most of the time, or because of common interest or clubs and such, I realized that it is all a good friendship. Yes, we quarrel, we fight, we argue, but we also laugh, joke and enjoy the presence of one another, and that makes life, alive. Isn't that amazing? So no matter what kind of relationship it is, treasure it, because you will never know when you can ever get the same kind again.

I started off my secondary school with these 2 new friends, and according to each individual personal opinions, none of us have really changed, that was what made the whole experience in the bus, so, nostalgic.

Friends are the spice of life, and sometimes, they make spicy things spicier.
Our friend,
Wai Leem

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