Apr 25

I bet you will never find a blogpost from me without this moment that I share the every moment of my feelings of any particular event. Hah! but its cool..

So in the earlier post, I told you about my latest happenings and this Easter Concert was the main thing. It was a pretty awesome performance, all thanks to the committee for lasting through and doing such a great job handling everyone and all, I bet nothing that they have done has gone to waste, glory to GOD!

Anyway, so back to the concert. Its first of all surprising that I even attempted to join it. You see, NSt is my church’s youth group which is super happening (if you’re interested, Saturday 2-5pm, Bangunan Yin Lvl 3), the thing is I don’t join them. Not that because I’m not happening, which I super am, but because I have KIDZONE during that hour, as the teachers and helpers meet that time, thus unable to make it for NSt. Nonetheless, though I rarely meet them, I know quite a number of them, especially through previous camps and all, plus seeing them around in church.

I honestly didn’t know it was an entirely NSt production until the first production actually, but even finding that out, plus encouraged by some friends, perhaps, I should just give it a shot la. If I only have one sentence to sum this up: I have no regrets.

Honestly speaking, don’t take any offense if any of you are reading this, but I didn’t fit in the way I wanted to. I don’t blame them, I really don’t, but its just because I’ve not been in NSt for so long, I know many by name, not by who they really are. Its like the point where its in between making new friends but not really friends yet kinda thing. And the thing is among themselves, they know each other pretty well, or at least way more than I do la..

Over and above that, I felt in some way, there was a lack of usage in terms of what I’m good at doing and my areas of strength, which don’t worry, wasn’t singing but some other certain areas la..

I’m not being proud here please don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I just felt that the devotion times could go a little deeper, though it was good no doubt, it was for me personally a bit shallow. And perhaps lastly, the way they handled things were so different, once again, I’ve not been in NSt for so long, I don’t understand the culture and personalities, but the way some things were handled, I just didn’t like it.

And so these sort of situations got me to think why I’m really a part of this. Is there even a purpose for me here? Did I join so that hopefully, lasting through this whole production will make me a better singer? Is this where I belong? I even thought of quiting, to tell you the truth, because I just didn’t feel right.

I can’t tell you where’s the turning point, because I’m also not that sure, but I know somewhere, somehow, I found reason. 2 earlier post back, I said that being part of the HELP CF Comm is really by the grace of God. One part I said that if you want to hear the real story, you have to ask me, well part of that story, that contributed to me being a worship coordinator is that I joined this production. Whilst talking to a friend about the new post, I realized that suddenly so many things relating to worship is happening in my life and obviously one of it is this! It got me thinking..

Then as much as I always wanted to provide an opinion, I felt a restriction. I felt God saying that over and above having good ideas and techniques, I want you to practice submission. Yes I did notice things that could have been done better, or thought my idea was better, but submission seemed more important than ever. Its not like I’ve not practiced it before or have an issue with it, but I just followed la, and thankfully, I gain things that I perhaps wouldn’t if I didn’t learn to submit.

Well, its hard to say much, I like performing though not involved in many performances, but I suppose the submitting part is something I would remember even as I move on in life, that sometimes as much as you want to change things, its perhaps just better to follow what the leader says. It may not help you directly but it helps the leaders, and when the leaders feel helped, it kinda somehow in a circle, help you back. Really, it always works.

One last thing perhaps is that I actually felt the taste of “the humble will be exalted and the exalted will be humbled” Not that I was like exalted or someone was humbled la, but its more of being humble, submissive, God will surely bless you back in return.

Its hard to say that I changed or grew a lot through this journey, though withdrawal sets in, its not like it is that much compared to what I’ve been through before. But like I said earlier, I imagined my life without being a part of this concert and getting to know not just by name but by who this team are even if its just that tad bit better, I only find emptiness, I know then, that this was and could never be a regret.

And so I thank you all, especially the committee, Kenny, May Gan, Leonard, Zen, Shen, Sharon and the singers who have journeyed alongside me, *from left* Chris Yap, Leon, Hannah, Jayson, Wesley, Maelodee, Christine, Sean, Sasha, Newton, Celine and Stella, awesome musicians, amazing stompers and dancers, and always-on-the-dot PA, lightings, media and stage crew.

We gave our all, and God is glorified.

2 people like this post.
Apr 25

Before I get to the main point, just some updates of me, myself and I!

Again, its been so long since I updated me precious blog, sorry. Nonetheless, 1 great thing to celebrate is that Malaysian and Moral studies is OVER! OH YEA! I’ve long been waiting for this precious day to come, and now it has!

Mock is nearing and so is first term, so a little stress now, but I’m starting to really get things into study mood and my books are all ready, just need to slap myself a couple of times would do.

And some days were pretty awesome, like going to Tim’s place having dinner and just chillin and talking like the old times, and it was awesome la, I always love that kind of ambiance feeling.

But yea, getting on to my main point, which actually took up most of my time for the past month, which I would say its a short but delightful journey that I embarked on.

I’ve always wanted to join some sort of production in church, and when someone asked me to go for this audition, like always I questioned myself whether I was able to do it or not. And this time round, it would have only taken a month or so, compared to those which lasted for like 6 months, so I was sure that this time my mum would let, without hesitation, I went for the audition. It was a singing audition by the way, since its a concert based production.

Long story short, went for a call back audition and soon they called all of us back for our first rehearsal. At first it was like 2 rehearsals per week, then it got to 3/4 rehearsals in the third week and our last week it was almost everyday. So plus college work and all, it was well, pretty pretty tiring! Plus we went for a photo shoot and some went for the second one which like totally tired them out. But it was fun and interesting in most ways. :)

In rehearsals, always started with physical and vocal warm ups (or warms sups, like how May Gan puts it) and everyone dreaded THE PLANK! Kenny said that by the end of the production we will have abs by doing it, I STILL DON’T :( But I thought it was probably one of the more fun warm ups that you don’t go through on a normal basis. OH! plus we learnt a relaxing exercise, which is pretty cool too! Of course we then moved into the singing parts and songs, where some sang alto parts some tenor and the melody! Our trainer, May Gan is one superbly awesome singer, I don’t know whether she had professional vocal training but I wouldn’t be surprised lo, she is really that good. *thumbs up!* Every other rehearsal was almost the same, sometimes something new would be thrown in, and it will always be kinda fun in its own ways.

This is no surprise to me, but for many others perhaps reading this, almost every rehearsal before we really move into the trainings and all, there was a time of sharing and impartation. That’s when we get to know each other better, what’s in their current happenings and the committee will impart something for the bible, which there is always something to learn one way or another. Really, this event grows not just talent, but fed many of us spiritually also.

Leading up to the concert, we had longer hours in church, practice was more intense, the stage was being set up, lights were being synchronized, everyone was tired, but everything was looking good! One way or another, we were ready to take that stage, to perform, and to ultimately glorify God, and like what Kenny says, to convince the audience that we ourselves are convince in what we sing, that Jesus is RISEN and is AWESOME!

That 2 services, I believe and really felt that everyone gave their all. EVERYTHING we have learnt and practiced, we surrendered it to God and just do all we could do. It was spectacular. Is it to say that there were no mistakes? No. There were when we look into detail, but when we stood there, I felt excellence over perfection. Every cast and crew, no matter doing how much or how little, did our individual parts with excellence, and we gave it all back to God, our focus was to please Jesus in our worship. If we did everything with perfection, we would have lost focus when something went wrong, and our aim was to only please the crowd.

The 2 services were PACKED out! It was amazing! And to see and hear of the lives saved, really makes what we have done all this while super worth it. Well, the thing is, all these is just the physical aspect of the journey, till tomorrow, when I post what I felt throughout it, I hope it will inspire.

1 person likes this post.