Archive for July, 2009

Its has been 3 years now, 4 years including the time i started in Kuching.

Now, I think it is soon coming to an end.

I started off with keen interest, persuing it and such, my parents never forced me. But after awhile, I suppose with majority of the people playing it, it became a routine. A must-play before the class starts. The only thing my parents wanted was not to waste money, at least if you want to play, play it and don't waste the money invested in it.

So that was how it all started and only until Form 2. Being with extremely talented people, I started to see the bright side of things. How I loved to play it once more! Again and again! But somehow, time just does not permit, and of course, lazyness I suppose. But as the lazy factor faded away, work just kept on squeezing in, practice? HOMEWORK AH! Nonetheless, I longed to play it, because why? I loved it. Did I love work more? I don't know, maybe, maybe not, or maybe work defined more of my life, so it had more inportance than piano.

That was Form 2. What about now? I still love it indeed! Milk white and pure black keys never fail to turn me down. How sweet the sound of music! Yet, work all the more took over, practice was left aside. I never tell anyone, I just mention it here, that at times tears will just flow from my eyes, because I want to play! But work just seems so endless. Imagine the stress that comes to your mind every night, how frustrating! Adding on, the pressure from my parents. OH! How hard it is just to make everything right!

Tomorrow, is my Grade 5 practical exam, yes, I know, MANY of you are already Grade  7 or 8. Even people younger than me are already Grade 8, by the time they are my age, goodness! They are already doing diploma!

But now, I have a choice to make, to stop, or to continue. Something I don't usually tell people, but as I pondered about this question while sitting in front of my beloved piano, I didn't cry, the tear ducts just secreted some fluid, filling my eyes just enough to blur my vision but will not flow down my cheeks.

Maybe, I'll stop.

How I miss the days rushing anxiously to practice before class!
How I miss the days when i sweat it all out to get the notes right!
How I miss the days putting emotions and feel into something extraordinary!
How I miss the days stepping on the smooth slick peddle, to create that elongated sound!
Yet again, I fail to beat *tai ko*. He ended in Grade 6, only leaving me to trail behind once again.

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!

Wai Leem - "Piano, i just want to let you know one thing, no matter what decision I make, I still Love you."

Piano - *immobile*"do re mi fa so la ti do!"

*OH!? I made its own sound? I wonder what it meant*

In a dilemma, care to join?
Wai Leem...

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Posted by whylame on July 23, 2009 at 8:19 pm under Rantings.
8 Comments.

Darn! I want to blog, but i just can't seem to blog. Yes, forgive me, thousand apologies for not updating. But I would just like to have my final word concerning the recent events that took place in the Prefectorial Board.

Sad? I'm relatively fine now. But i'm worried. As they start to enforce their power on where each and everyone of us stand, I have one thing for you'll, the top 5.

Leaders? Indeed you are, but what i really wanted to do was total equality in the board, meaning that I as a top 5 am no different than you as an AJK biasa or whatever post. Yes, specific post to do specific jobs, but everyone still does it together. I suppose none of you will get what i mean, because its for me to know, for you to find out, but the thing is, it can never be implemented no more. Now its all about who's the top and who's the workers. I play only a mediocre role in it. But there is just one thing about the master system that unless you all have it, only then it will fully work to its capability and succeed. (Or at least I believe so) That is, the system needs trust among the prefects. You fail to give enough of it, neither will the system give you the full result of what it can provide. Yes its not the perfect system, but the thing is that the leader must have the criterias, or else..

Something about this friday's meeting is irritating me. I have a feeling i'll just put my head down in despair, but nevertheless, i will hope for the best.

i like the way Nicholas put it in his blog, "When all you got to keep is STRONG" This goes likewise for myself and everyone reading this. Stay Strong prefects, because something tells me that we are going to go into a freaking lot of problems soon. Project Einigung Phase 1 has started, but there's more to it than we have not seen yet.

*holds a cup of tea* But all in all, I will like to make a toast, for the change and betterment of the Catholic High School Prefect Board, 1, 2, 3,

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Once a prefect, forever a prefect,
Wai Leem

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Posted by whylame on July 15, 2009 at 5:20 pm under Prefects, Rantings.
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One thing i have realized, is that I do not keep myself fully up to date with the latest songs and such, songs such as No Boundaries.

Every time i scan through the online list to find someone to talk to, i will surely come across one or two friends having "No Boundaries - Kris Allen" as the what-i'm-listening-to status. I could not care less, until today.

So i went to youtube, typed in that song, waited unexcitedly for it to load, and soon, i click "play".

Expecting it to be a love song, i was dead wrong. In fact, its like a coincidence that i heard it at this very point in time, expecially when concerning that prefects and such like that.

Seconds, hours, so many days
you know what you want
but how long can you wait
every moment last forever
if you feel lost your way
What if your chances are already gone
starting believing that I could be wrong
But you give me one good reason
to fight and never walk away

Here i am still holding on!

Every step you climb another mountain
Every breathe its harder to believe
You'll make it through the pain
whether the hurricane
To get to the one thing
When you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you almost gave up on your dreams
Then take it by the hand
and show you that you can
There are no boundaries
There are no boundaries

I'm faulting my landing
to stand on the edge
What if today is as good as it gets
Don't know what the future is heading
Nothing's gonna bring me down
I've jumped every bridge
I've heard every lie
I risked being safe but i always knew why
I always knew why

So here I am still holding on...

(back to chorus)

Is isn't it amazing? Let me explain why it is to me personally.

Starting from verse 1
I have preparing myself both spiritually and mentally make it to top ever since form 2, i knew what i want, but it just seems so long, yet i waited till that day. I did not lose my way, that's for sure, but as of now, after the long wait, my chances, are gone, literally gone. Could I be wrong after all, after all this while? Was i wrong? But my passion gave me that one good reason to stay in the board.

pre-chorus
That's why i'm still holding on

Chorus
Every step another mountain is being climbed, whether be it i succeed or i fail, I know that i'm still nearing the tip of the mountain, but it takes every step. At this point in time, the truth, hard truth is still really hard for me to accept, makes every breathe harder, more intense in my emotions. But i suppose i will make it through this pain, whether its a hurricane of emotional pain or image, i will make it through, because i know i will continue to strive for that one thing. When i first knew the results, really, i thought that's the end, the road is going no where, I almost gave up literally. But people and passion reminded me and friends took me by the hand, not literally though, and comforted me and showed me that whoever is at the top, i still can bring change and influence around it. Not that i'm trying to take power, but its about bringing together a unified power and decision to change. And finally at the end, he sings "there are no boundaries" this maketh the song title, but somehow, i deny its existence. Indeed there are a lot of boundaries, whether teachers, my personal emotions and the board's unity plus many more.

verse 2
throughout this whole time, i was standing on the edge, on the verge of getting surat amaran and being fired, have i landed safely? did i fail to land properly? That day when results came out, it was really as good as it got, I was 6th, just a few little votes away. I really at that point do not know what the future is heading, because if i was there, my preparation, my focus was all already set. I knew what i was going to do. Now, everything is so vague, i do not know what the future holds. Despite me not knowing, i'm not going to give up, a normal prefect could actually be the piece of the puzzle that joins everything together and makes it prefect. I may not have jumped every bridge or heard every lie, but i surely have been through the times i stood in front of teacher telling them what's wrong, times when i give seniors constuctive criticism, times when i hear people backstabbing others, me included, and because of all this, i risked being safe, i risked that position of mine, but at least i knew why, i knew why.

(back to pre-chorus and verse)

I know that there is a bridge, but only that part of that song is to me, rather irrelevant for me.

In the end, i like the pre-chorus the most, because I will still hold on.

Kris Allen - No Boundaries

Love,
Wai Leem

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Posted by whylame on July 5, 2009 at 1:44 pm under Music review, Prefects.
2 Comments.

Yes, i actually have many other stuff to post about, but was a bit lazy, plus work came pilling on. Yet, i thought i just needed to share this.

Prefect's interview had came and gone, elections have gone underway and the top 5 are selected. Unsure of what i will get, with hopes high, went through it, and in the end, *drumroll*....................... I FAILED TO GET TOP 5!

Interesting isn't it? Did you expect it? I didn't, that's for sure.

Prefect board has taken up a lot of my school life, now expecting myself to lead it, with people readily backing me up, I dropped to the lowest pit of it all. Amazing isn't it not?

But before i go any furthur, I would like to publicly address every prefect reading this, we wanted a change, none of us ever liked the way the board ran. All in all, we wanted, a Revolution.

I was determined to bring that, but can you bring it? No, the question is, do you even want to bring it? I cannot say anymore, almost the first time in my life, i would actually really cry, literally. But i just wanted to let everyone know, that whoever takes the helm of great power, I will never stop until the day of change arrives.

Do you know how breaking is it to lose an opportunity for me to fight for something worthwhile so suddenly? haha, but i'm smilling right now, because i know that God has a plan despite all these, He has something He wants to tell me.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Philippians 4:4

I will rejoice despite the circumstances, just like in the movie, Facing the Giants. "We win we praise God, We lose we praise God"

And so, i will praise God with all my soul, heart, mind and strength, because just like the kid song says

If you're black or if you're white
Or if you're in between, God loves you..
If you're tall or if you're short,
Or if you're fat or thin, God loves you..
HE loves you when you're happy,
He loves you when you're sad.
He loves when you're very good and when you're very bad.

No matter what you look like,
No matter what you do, GOD LOVES YOU!

God loves me, I know it and that is all i need.

Failed(chance of) Head Prefect,
Wai Leem



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Posted by whylame on July 2, 2009 at 8:36 pm under Prefects, Rantings.
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