WARNING: The following post is going to be one of my longest whatever-comes-into-my-head crap spewing to be written this year. Considering my already pitifully low blog readership, I suggest you should probably go and Facebook or head over to LOLcats.
You have been warned.
See how the title relates to the previous post?
Alas, the end of 2009. What a year.
From all the blog surfing I've been doing since I got back from Egypt, I can see a lot of people already have very strong views about 2009.
I can't believe alot of people keep saying that 2009 was a not-so-good year.
Okay fine it definitely wasn't the BEST year. But comparing it to previous years, I would say 2009 was a GREAT year.
Alot of people were talking about problems with new friends, especially certain people from a certain wild class in Form 3. You know what I think? I think I couldn't have hit a bigger jackpot in terms of new friends in 4S3.
So maybe I may not know the ENTIRE class yet. I'm getting there okay.
We have the most lala bunch of asses clowns ever around (with a name like S3X Gang to boot), we have our own MIC and UMNO (names courtesy of Mr Chan Foi Onn). We have Itanium Solutions 0.5. And we have Yee Jan. Enough said.
4S3 in Genting with some impostors present.
In terms of school, well, okay maybe that's a less sunny story.
Sad to say that I never thought teachers like Mr Wong existed. I always thought teachers were either great, okay, bad or psychotic. Turns out there was one more category. Bitch-ass useless.
Suffice to say our other teachers only ever hovered between okay and bad, except for that one shining period when Ms Koh Esther replaced Mr Chan for a while and also Encik Ali for Sejarah.
Ms Koh. Best teacher EVA.
How did I do in results? Well, it seemed like my Irish luck pulled me through again for one more time, but it was very obvious that it was beginning to wane. I'm tired of shedding blood, sweat, tears and blood just to get an OK result. I want to sail, not crawl anymore.
What I would say I could have done alot better was the general activities and stuff that happened throughout the year. I regret always trying to avoid Rumah Hijau stuff the whole time. I regret quitting Interact (actually I'm still mulling this one over). I am a little pissed that I was never chosen by my seniors to organise stuff. I am ticked that most of my colleagues failed and disappointed me. I am disillusioned with teachers and administrators who want to take matters into their own hands and steer things in the wrong direction.
Although the one greatest most awesome-est thing to have emerged this year was Ed Board =)
Yeah lah. I would say that 2009 was a pretty good year for me, when compared to previous years in which I was a complete zombie.
I would say that the one way 2009 did affect me greatest was that it was Epiphany Year. Like the greatest epiphany (or series of epiphanies) to happen to me. Like imagine Saul on the way to Damascus and it wasn't just A light from heaven but flashing lights coupled with a few flash bangs.
It was this year that I began to see things for what they truly were. People who I thought friends turned out to be, well, not enemies, but disappointments nonetheless. People who I thought haughty turned out to be the most delightful people. Things I thought stupid were actually pretty cool. Things I thought cool turned out pretty stupid.
And after seeing so much, it was then time to accept things for what they were. That particular one was a struggle and a challenge that lasted for the entire year. But now, at the last light of 2009 twilight, I feel a calm and serenity, because I've accepted all the cold hard truths that were in my face all along.
I've accepted that gaming was my Achilles heel. Like pollution, the effects of it were never obvious to me and I like an anti-environmentalist, I denied all the crystal clear evidence. But pollution only ever shows its affects after a prolonged time, and the consequences are usually disastrous. So only now do I realise that gaming was never what I kept thinking, my version of music or dance or whatever important character building developmental activities people were doing. It was my disease. My cancer. And like all cancers in removable organs, it has to go.
I've accepted that everything in the last 15 years has led to the life I lead now, of which I am not proud of. All the chances for growth, development, character building were squandered by my ignorance and as well as what I consider parental negligence to a certain degree.
I've accepted that I've been spoilt, and I didn't take responsibility or take initiative because of that.
I've accepted that my time was wasted, and I vow to waste it no more.
I've accepted the fact that no matter what I do or how much I try to "fit in", I will always only be the Observer, never to truly be a part of anything.
So yeah. 2009 was...big in the sense that I finally took the red pill after 16 years prescription of blue pills (watch the Matrix to get the reference).
Can I haz red pillz?
But at least now my eyes are clear. Now my thoughts are straight and my heart is true. I no longer seek solace in illusions. I eagerly await the truth.
The road will be long and hard. It will be filled with challenges, obstacles, perils and temptations.
But now I am free.
A new dawn awaits.
I tried to be perfect,
It just wasn't worth it,
Nothing could ever be so wrong.
It’s hard to believe me,
It never gets easy,
I guess I knew that all along.
-Pieces-Sum41
Nicholas,
December 31st, 2009
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, which I will show you if I ever get around to acquiring them.
Halo 3 ODST by Timothy Goh. Got special edition controller somemore.
