Today, besides being the birthday of our "dear" Ketua Pengawas **cough cough**, Mr Fan Ray Aun, let us also remember the lost ones of 9/11. The innocent people and the heroes who never gave a thought to themselves as they tried to save them.

A moment of silence in your hearts please...

...

...

...

Okay.

I just learned a very important lesson today.

Dominoes' Pizza Chilli Flakes are ACTUALLY spicy. Like really really spicy.

Unfortunately, it took me 8 packets of it on a 2 X 2 inch piece of pizza for me to realise that.

My mouth felt like someone had poured napalm in it and set it alight.Or as a Bangladeshi guy once described about their indigenous chillies.

"It feels like DYING"

I went through 1 cup, 1 can of Sprite and a Slurpee before it went away, and mind you I was sipping the whole time.

So that, Ms Koh, is why I looked tired in the canteen. Because my mouth had stopped dying.

---

As of today, I still haven't begun immersing my head in the sea of studies.

I guess I'll have to wait for the jolt to come before the message hits home.

Remember Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth? A frog, when dropped in hot water, will immediately leap away. However, the same frog, when placed in water that is slowly heated, will remain there, until.....someone saves it.

And now, I am the frog.

Why do we always have to face a sudden threat before we react? Why has evolution given us this system, which worked okay when we were still not at the top of the food chain, but is really bad in the modern world with its abstract threats and what not.

I could if I would and I probably should.

[:/LOCKDOWN SEQUENCE...INITIATED]

....

If I, let them go I'll be outdone. But if I, try to catch them I'll be outrun.

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Rise and shine, Mr/Miss (you). Rise and, shine.

It is already halfway through the month..... of April. A quarter of the year has already passed.

Not that I wish to imply....that you've been sleeping.... on the job. No one is more deserving of a rest, especially you, who've worked hard at achieving what it was you had to do. Such as.....the Ed Board photoshoot committee, the Itanium Solutions' members and.....the people of YE, to name but a few.

And all the effort in the world would have gone to waste....if....well, let's just say that the hour has come again.

Time once again plays with us. It .....dangles the carrot in front of our eyes as we strive ever harder to make deadlines and....other matters within and beyond our control.In all that commotion, we must not forget to pause and.....take a deep breath. Appreciate the finer things... in life. Take note of the insignificant, before it passes by....in a flash.

So, wake up, Mr/Miss (you)....wake up and......smell the roses.

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Recently my Pendidikan Moral teacher was in class that day. He was reiterating the absolute importance of keeping to the prescribed format when answering a Moral paper. When I say that, I meant he was chewing and spitting out anyone unfortunate enough to have to reply his mock Moral paper questions. All because they did not keep to the format. And that's when it hit me. Pendidikan Moral is the worst ever piece of nonsense, worthless, redundant, ever so useless subject to have ever existed (I am trying to be polite here) in the course of education history, besides another nonsense, worthless, redundant, ever so useless subject, Pendidikan Sivik dan Kewarganegaraan. But that's another story.

First of all, what ever made the Ministry of Education think that we require Pendidikan Moral in the first place? One "obvious" reason may be that Malaysians are a moral-less lot, who are probably so precariously hanging on the abyss of sin and evil and we need Pendidikan Moral in order that good, clean "moral values" may be instilled within us to turn us around 360 degrees.

Okay then. So I turn open a book to see what goodness Moral has in store for me. What do I see? I see 36 "moral values", each of them having their own respective definitions. All these moral values are somewhat relevant . Responsibility. Concern for the environment. Human rights etc.

Here's where Pendidikan Moral begins to go down the drain. It is how we are expected to answer a Moral paper.

Example:
Rain forests are God's gift to humanity. However, humanity continues to pollute and desecrate it without thought nor care

Q1) What is the moral value that can be found in the statement above?

Usual answer that comes to a student's mind: Harmony between man and nature? Love and aprreciate the environment?

No. Your answer is absolutely wrong. Why teacher? Because the statement has the word "God" in it. Therefore, the only moral value that is accepted as the answer is Belief in God.

Which brings me to my next point. How we are expected to find the appropriate moral value that fits the context.

Now, one would expect that part of the learning outcome of Pendidikan Moral is that we will know how to apply the correct moral value for the correct situation. In essense, that it teaches one how to evaluate and analyse a situation. That is sadly not the case.

Instead, we are thought how to spot the keyword in the text and respond accordingly. If the text has the word/words "a responsible attitude that creates trust and faith in others", then the answer can only be Trustworthiness. Doesn't matter if the context, say about a treasurer keeping money properly, can be intepreted as  Responsibility. So long as the words trust and faith are there, there is only one, true answer.

Again, this defeats the purpose of Pendidikan Moral. I am being thought how to be a dog that searches only for the marijuana and not the ecstasy. Or how to be a policeman that arrests only black people and not the whites. Is this truly what the Ministry of Education thinks will make us better people? Selective application of morality and principle?

The other matter is how stringent the marking scheme is. When one answers a paper, one must always mention the subject involved. Fail to mention that Ali or Ah Long or whoever needs to have some responsibility in him, and you automatically get zero for that. Another thing is how you "elaborate" on the moral value. Say you got the first part correct and you're writing the definition. Get a single word wrong out of the whole thing, and get another zero. Write "kepada" instead of "terhadap"?  Salah. Kosong markah.

Look at countries around us. Our colonial masters the British, have something similar called Citizenship. It is compulsory to learn it, but there are no exams, few assessments and is not a compulsory subject in the GSCE (British version of SPM). Singapore has Social Studies, but is different from ours in the sense that it actually teaches what it's supposed to teach, and not bog the students down with nonsense. The Philippines doesn't even have anything similar, and the United States it is sinonimous with History.

Let us take a step back. Pendidikan Moral is a time consuming subject. Students have to do "social projects". Memorise 36 moral values along with their definition word for word. And then there's the matter that it is a core SPM subject. Now, replace Pendidikan Moral with something else, say, Accounting, or Geography. Now at least the students are learning something worth learning about, since most of my peers are going to secretly go for Accounting classes anyway. More importantly, they can safely put Pendidikan Moral behind and give their undivided attention to other more important subjects, or those that they are weak at.

Having to learn Pendidikan Moral in fact, makes me actually want to do the opposite of what it teaches, simply because I find it so offensive to our intellect and because I want to and I can. Moral values are not taught by forcing students to memorise crap and apply crap. It is by pragmatic practicality in everyday life, or at least taught pragmatically.

If they ever make Pendidikan Sivik an SPM subject, I may have to emancipate myself from Malaysia and move far, far away.

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"Altruism is the root of all wickedness"-a banner in the game, Bioshock.

In case you do not know what that means, altruism is the spirit of selflessness. In essense, the complete opposite of selfishness. And partially, I agree with that statement.

I would say I am a pretty helpful person. Since people tend to ignore me on a daily basis, I almost always will volunteer or agree to do some sort of task I guess as a way to get attention. That was until I played Bioshock, looked up the meaning of altruism, and thought "That is so friggin right". And since then, I am a little more critical of whatever task I am asked to do. This is because, despite everything I've done, I don't get anything in return. I know that one should offer help without expecting anything back, but I usually do not benefit from my helpful actions, which takes the form of wasted time, or being unable to do other more desirable activities. And above all, I am still considered the guy who can help out or fill up the missing gap. And it isn't just me neither. A friend of mine, whom everyone in school knows for sure (though I will keep this annoymous), has also been a victim of altruism and those who capitalize on it. Being busy as he is with studies and cocuricular activities, he has nontheless still been subjected to altruistic torture in the form of sacrificing his own happiness for the sake of others.

With such wisdom in a game, I decided to research further into the theme which inspired Bioshock and the principles of Andrew Ryan. What I found was that the principles of Bioshock were inspired by a woman named Ayn Rand and her philosophy: Objectivism.

Of course, not being as simply defined as democracy or communism, please feel free to consult the "experts" of Wikipedia for more information.

Objectivism is about man being a conscious being, aware of reality. Both of which exist seperate, and it is only through the senses that man is able to perceive reality. Thus, man uses the sense to validate concepts and identify the facts of reality. And because man is a conscious being, whose survival instinct is not as automatic as an animal's, then man's motivation is to pursue a conscious state, the pursuit of happiness.

Thus far, doesn't seem any different from what we're doing now right? Read on.

As man survives as a rational being, and not merely driven by animal instincts, man's has only 3 basic values: reason, purpose and self esteem. Every man is an end to himself and not a means to an end for others. Thus, man lives for himself alone and does not sacrifice for others nor have others sacrifice for him. He works for his rational self interest, and his achievement of happiness is his highest moral purpose in life.

Following that, the basic social principal of Objectivism is that no one has the right to seek value from others by means of force. Men have to deal with others as traders, and only do business by mutual consent. As such, capitalism, and by which Objectivism means laissez-faire capitalism, capitalism which allows events to happen with little intervention is the Objectivist form of government. Capitalism is a system which recognises the individual rights, including property rights. The governments only job then, is to ensure that these rights are not infringed upon. Thus, Objectivism rejects any form of collectivism (such as communism) or the mixed economy adopted by most nations, where the government has intervention.

In conclusion, Objectivism, as defined by Ayn Rand when she was asked to define the essense of Objectivism when standing on one foot is as follows.

Metaphysics: Objective Reality
Epistemology: Reason
Ethics: Self-interest
Politics: Capitalism

So, in further simpler terms, Objectivism is kinda like justified selfishness.

Of course, my knowledge of Objectivism remains shallow at best. I am going to acquire some of Ayn Rand's literary works in order to understand Objectivism better. For now though, I like the idea that I can justify selfishness :p

Brought to you by,
Nicholas
I am not going to just be "that guy who can be labour" anymore.

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Reading about the world news today, one can't help but wonder that alot of the world's current issues are happening in so called "democratic" nations. It is then interesting to note how varied they are. Here's a few examples:

American Democracy
Probably the best kind. Two candidates, Democrats and Republicans, slug it out during election period. Occasionally using racist, religion or some other criticism of the other party. Election results may sometimes depend on Supreme Court decision.

Georgian Democracy
Pretend you're a seperate region from your parent nation. Then get your big daddy of a former communist super power to back that claim, along with his SCO (Shanghai Cooperation Organisation) buddies, all 5 of them (China, Kyrgyztan, Tajikstan, Uzbekistan and Kazakhstan) to support that too. Don't give a dang what the West is saying, nor what Georgia claims.

Thailand Democracy
Conduct a bloodless coup. Then try to get ousted Prime Minister to stand trial for corruption. Begin to storm and occupy Government House after his escape. Also call for the dissolvement of government.

Zimbabwean Democracy
Get rid of opposition. Run for election by yourself. Offer to share power with opposition because other African nations tell you to do so. Form government anyway when opposition doens't want to cooperate.

North Korean Democracy
The Great Leader is everywhere. Everywhere.

Singaporean Democracy
Go to court with your bankrupt opponent. Control nation with iron fist (which is slowly melting)

Malaysian Democracy (finally!)
Boast loudly that you'll reclaim opposition fortresses. Lose 3/4 majority in Parliament. Attempt to defame your opponent with fresh sodomy charges. Fail miserably.

And there you have it. Some notable examples of how the great system of democracy works in some countries. Must be so effective since there's so many flavours. Pick yours today.

Brought to you by,
Nicholas
Will no longer be the Bangsar Boy.

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You know how things go horribly wrong at the worst moment in the worst possible way? There's actually a name for that. It's called Murphy's law. It states that "everything that can possibly go wrong, will go wrong, in the worst possible way, at the worst possible time.

Everyone experiences instances of Murphy's law. You want to enjoy a nice long weekend doing what you want but the teacher has to give you a bucket load of homework on Friday. In another case, you've been organising something really huge and important, but the day before that, the school authority decides to replace a later school holiday on that particular day, without even contemplating whatever activities it'll screw. Or you're eager to begin gaming after a long time because you've been busy studying for an exam and its over, only to find something has inexplicably gone wrong with the game or the machine, or both.

Yes, Murphy's law persists everywhere. It's evil, it's cruel, and it's part of life. That's where proactiveness and tolerance play a crucial part in things. Sure, it's easy to call the teacher a ***** and wish her a dreadful fall down a staircase. It's easy to wish the school authority would be disposed off (peacefully or otherwise). And it's easy to cuss and swear at the p**-poor quality of pirated games these days or faulty hardware. But that never fixes things. Just as the saying goes "Death smiles on all of us. The only thing we can do is smile back", the only thing we can do when Murphy's law strikes is, maybe not smile, but just accept it, reassess the situation, and make changes where necessary.

Here's how I've been facing an instance of Murphy's law. It's a Sunday. I'm going to go out for dinner in the evening, leaving me little time to do whatever I want at night. Therefore, I intend to play some Bioshock shortly before I leave. I've done my studying to stave off my parent's nagging, and all my homework's done. I boot my PC, turn on passive applications like MSN and BitTorrent, and click the Bioshock icon. The PC loads it a while, and then for no reason whatsoever, the application doesn't run. This wasn't the first time this has happened. It occured previously when I restored my PC to fix my Firefox. Back then it was acceptable, but now, without any external inteference, it still fails to function. And I end up having to waste time uninstalling and reinstalling it, thereby wasting precious time, and by the time I'm done, I barely have time to play. On a side note, I lamment the fact that the quality of pirated games have gone down the drain in recent years. Back then pirated games had decent and sometimes relatively nice covers and CD desgins, plus the quality of the software was also assured. Nowadays, it's a bit more difficult to find a good, reputable shop that sells good games. I realised all of this when I looked upon Bioshock. I had thought it was a self made copy, but it turns out it was bought. However, it looks like complete crap compared to years before. The cover is printed badly on normal A4 paper. The DVD itself makes no effort to mask that its a bootleg copy, with the words Bioshock simply scribbled across the surface. And I'm not sure if its my PC's fault instead, but the quality of the software kinda sucks.

That's Murphy's law in action. So be proactive. Always assume that the worst is going to happen, as the saying goes "Hope for the best, and prepare for the worst", or as I like to say "Always have a plan B. And C. And maybe even a D".

Brought to you by,
Nicholas
I wonder if I can find a shop that sells a pirated copy of Bioshock?

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Misunderstanding, or being misunderstood, can, and almost always, leads to bad consequences. Take for instance a friend of mine whom I mentioned in a previous post who we thought disliked "sex" movies, hence implying that she does watch them. And you yourself. How many times have you treated,avoided certain people or criticized them based only on perception?

Complete understanding comes from 2 things. Perception and paradigm, which are similar. Perception, which is the idea and thought that we form about things, and paradigm, which is the "model answer" of what we think of things.

Perception comes the moment you meet someone. Even though we're taught to "not judge a book by its cover", you will subconsciously form a kinda image of the person in your head, which remains the image you'll have of that person until you get to know him/her personally. Do not shake your head in disagreement. This is undeniable.

Paradigm is from a different angle. It's what the "model answer" in your head is telling how a person is like, based on the data you gleam from other sources, like mutual friends, reputation and etc. Again, this will be dispelled when you get to know that person more...personally.

Often enough, perception and paradigm the moment you meet someone becomes a barrier to the pursuit of a friendship. I myself, in my more immature days, often formed very negative perceptions and paradigms on people I met. One was this stuck up girl with lofty ambitions. Another was this really unpleasant guy who was quite emo.

Over time, and in the right circumstances, these perceptions can take a 360 degree change. The girl mentioned above turned out pretty ok, and is currently one of my more somewhat "unique" friends (not that kind of unique), while the guy....well....I don't really know much about the guy, except that maybe he's not so unpleasant anymore.

Paradigms have also been aplied to me more than a couple of times. Most prominant is when people think I'm a computer whiz and they want me to do something important for them, like seperate lyrics from a melody in a song or Photoshop-ing something. I mean sure, I enjoy my games and all, but computer whiz? No, I am not. The thing is, when I tell people this, they think I've failed to live up to their paradigm that I should be a computer whiz. And in future, they'll never ever ask me about computer-related things ever again. In worse cases, they never ask entrust me to do anything else as well, whether it be computer-related or not.

It's never easy to stop relying on your perceptions and paradigms about people. It's human nature and is impossible to expunge. Some people also make it difficult to do so, like those gangster gits. But the next time you meet someone, try not to let the perceptions and paradigms decide entirely for you.

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"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it"~George Santayana

Sound familiar? It should be. It's a very popular quote for just about anything regarding history, and is featured in our Form 1 History textbook, albeit translated. But what exactly does it mean? Simple. It means that if we do not remember the past, we will inevitably end up doing the same things that we did last time. History has proven this concept thousands of times. For example, wars in the past were fought for land, wealth and religion, plus some other minor reasons. Things haven't really changed in the 21st century, except the ferocity of conflict. We may not fight over land (militarily at least, although we're still trying to appeal for Pulau Batu Putih, and I do remember some sort of military show off between Malaysia and Singapore regarding that) as much as we did, nor do we really fight over wealth, because there's something called "international outrage", like when Russia staked its claim over Arctic deposits of gas by putting a flag undersea. In essence though, we don't fight as much simply because of our fear of annihilating the entire planet by firing Inter Continental Ballistic Missiles at each other. But we haven't stopped fighting over religion, as jihad still wages the world over.

"We learn from history that we learn nothing from history"~George Bernard Shaw

The same concept very much applies to just about everything. As students, we learn that we should never leave things to the last minute. But judging by the amount of students who inevitably end up cramming as much information into their heads before an exam, this is obviously a lesson never learnt. Wait. That's not true. We do learn from bad experiences. If you've been hit by a vehicle because you dashed across the road blindly, surely you would not do that again in future? It then comes down to a matter of remembering the lessons of history. We learn that we're supposed to study consistently and throughly and not leave everything to the 11th hour. We know that already. But then do we remember it?

In my case, I certainly didn't. Nor have I. Ever since UPSR, when I kinda realised I shouldn't have left everything to the last minute because of a slight panic attack, I told myself that that would not happen again. Fast forward to secondary school, and that is still happening again and again. This happened most recently just after this year's 1st term examination, when I once again put off everything to the final hour. I was lucky though, as I almost aced everything that time. But my mind didn't like to remember the unpleasant sensation of feeling unprepared, and conveniently forgot all about it. That arrogance would be the cause of my downfall now, as I did not bother to put much effort into my studies during the 2 week holiday, only to suss what a mistake that was when I sat through my exams this week. Almost everything did not go as planned, and I predict a dip in my results for my 2nd term. There's still 2 more days to go though. And I'll have to ace those 2 days to make up for my losses this week.

"History doesn't always repeat itself. Sometimes it just screams, "Why don't you listen to me?" and lets fly with a big stick"~John W Campbell Junior

So what have I learnt here? Once again, history stares back at me, as it once again teaches me the way a teacher will explain to a confused student, that I have to put more effort into my studies,and not leaving everything to the last minute. This lesson is not something which applies only to me though, as it is universal, and applies to every student, you and me.

With that, I would like to wish those CHS-ians who have felt the sting of this particular exam, or any other for that matter, good luck. We still have 2 days to go, and we'll make it. The only thing we have to do now, as the clock ticks away the few months we have to PMR, is to learn what history has ever patiently shown, remember it, and act on it.

"Learn from History as there is no better teacher"~ Anonymous

Brought to you by,
Nicholas
Next time around, pray for me that it'll go different.

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You. Me. And everyone else. We all go through our lives day in day out. We enjoy some moments. We hate some of them. There are moments that inspire us. Moments that crush us. And some moments that are passed in gleeful bliss. And then some.

But of course, all of these pale in comparison when the bigger picture is taken into consideration. Have you ever sat down somewhere quiet and serene, with an undisturbed and unblocked view of the night sky? Being the city-zens that we are, we don't get many opportunities to do that. But there are times, when I would just go to that quiet place (much befitting my rather preferably isolated nature) and just feel at peace with the world and myself. These rare moments usually occur on a beach somewhere, where I would take in the salty tang of the air, listen to the crashing of waves upon the beach, and stare upon into the heavens and the stars that fill them. Have you ever seen a sky completely unobstructed by cloud or smog? I have. Although it wasn't on a beach. Rather, it was on a plane. Somewhere over Russia, en route to Paris. Staring out the window before I went to sleep, I immediately saw the grandest and most beautiful sight one may ever behold. The clouds carpeting the earth below, the moon, its splendour gleaming for all to see. And the stars. So many of them. Countless thousands that dot the darkness above. Truly, a sight to behold. Unfortunately, I couldn't take a picture of that. Either with or without flash.

But the thing is, that sight made me think about our lives and what makes it tick. Which is also related to the question, does God truly determine where our lives go? There are so many theories on what we do, why we do, and when we do, among other things. Do we determine our fate by our actions, like Sarah Connor's grave in T3 that reads "No Fate But What We Make"? Or are our lives already determined and are playing like a recorded video? Or are our fates controlled by otherworldly forces, which could be God, the Devil, Chaos etc.?

I believe in a slight variation of the examples given. I believe that, yes, we control what we do in life, albeit with strong influence and guidance from God. Of course, for those of you who know me a little bit better, I ain't really a very strong believer in His holiness. But of course, I am trying to remedy that. Back to the example given. See, when I do bad stuff, more bad stuff seems to follow right after that. I used to think this was His direct punishment or something. But now I am beginning to see that perhaps he isn't directly punishing me, but just arranging bad stuff to happen after I do bad stuff, so that I'll get the hint and stop doing the bad stuff. Another example. When I don't do bad stuff, good stuff usually happens more frequently, of which I try to thank Him as much as possible. When bad stuff still occurs though, I try to see what is it that He wants me to see. In these past few weeks, its usually because I keep procrastinating and waste time on useless activities (excluding video games).

But then of course, there's the question of why He allows all the violence and evil in the world to happen. All the wars we've ever had. All the racial pogroms and mass exile to Siberia. And now, all the natural disasters that keep afflicting us. But one does need to consider. These are all the actions of man and man alone. Sure, He is present, in those who are fighting for the righteous cause, or those who are trying to help those in need. However, those who continue to do evil do so because they want to, not because He intended it. As such, these people will receive whatever's coming to them when the time comes.

And so, I would like to present a message here. For all those of you who feel down, sad, emo, confused, etc etc, and if you believe in Him, then believe that He is trying to get something across. We are what we do and think, but He always tries to put the idea in our heads that we may do the right thing to make this better for ourselves.

And with that, this somewhat philosophical post, comes to an end.

Brought to you by,
Nicholas
Homework mountain just came crashing down on me again.

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