Envision

About two months ago I attended this talk organised in school regarding stress management and psychology. The speaker was a Malay dude with a funny and hardly understandable Malaysian-Malay-American accent, as he graduated from the States. Basically what he did was to explain stress management methods to us Form Fives, with a tinge of humour here and there. And one thing he said caught my attention: we all have dreams every night, just that most of the time, we cannot remember them.

It is true! Dreams do not often occur in our minds because we always forget them, and once that happens, there is no way we can recall them. In fact, we only admit we have dreams about... say, once a week? I beg to differ. I know this because every morning while waiting for the uncle to come fetch me to school, I tend to doze off lying on the couch. I have to say, dreams flare throughout our minds at that very short span of semi-unconsciousness. And when we wake up, we immediately forget them. I wonder if this only happens to an abnormal me, or does it occur to all human beings?

Something else I want to point out, is that dreams emotionally affect your day. Say, you wake up from a horrible nightmare and the bad thing is: you remember it! When this happens, you are able to remember every second of the events in your dream. How ironic, to be only able to recall the bad dreams. So here's my experience, I woke up soaking in sweat from a horrific dream (in which I cannot recall its details now). Since everything that happened was etched in my mind, I couldn't help but feel emo, sad, and fearful. The bad dream ruined my entire morning as I constantly peered around me looking for signs of the dream actually coming true. I know this sounds stupid, but if you were in my position, you will feel the same.

The drama of the dream affected my entire morning as I became incredibly moody, fearing the probable consequences of the dream as if it were impending doom. I was emotionally stressed, and although it was bright sunshine in the morning, I felt gloomy and emotionally exhausted. The mood swing was like I had PMS or some hormone imbalance. It was an awful position to be in. So I went for a shower and kicking myself, telling myself that it's all in the head -  in the mind. I needed to stop thinking about the fantasies of my dream and get my foot back on Earth - in reality.

In the afternoon, I began feeling alright and the horrors of the dream were behind me.

Case in point, if you were to dream about losing someone you love, someone close to you, dying. About how you cry your heart out, or (since it's all a dreamy fantasy, you may end up laughing in sarcasm; or worse, you could've kill that person!). When you wake up, you begin to think. Your humane thoughts take over your conscience and begin to run wild. What if I really lost someone close to you? What will happen? When we begin to delve into thoughts of such, we begin to get all moody and melancholic. Henceforth, we will tend to pay more attention to that someone you "died" in your dream. You begin to cherish them more and appreciate the presence of that person.

I believe dreams that are etched in our minds are there for a reason. The usual kickass dreams during short naps are carved into our memory because they don't mean anything. As such, dreams that are recalled are those that give us a literal wake-up call, a dose of reality. They make us think - make us feel sad for a moment while diving into our wildest thoughts. But most of all, dreams are good.

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According to the Mayan calendar, from today we have exactly 1014 days left on Earth. That's what the ancient tribal people believe, or maybe it's just that they had no time to continue writing the calendar. I bet, many of you out there have watched the film 2012 - perhaps the most epic, thrilling devastation blockbuster movie. Coming to think of it realistically, do you think the world would just blow up in an instant?

If the world were to end, it would be a long and painful process. And for the dinosaurs who once roamed the Earth, we're still not sure how they went extinct, but they don't die all at once that's for sure. Humanity just won't get wiped out in a flash. 2012 will have to start early.

And started it has, as within two and a half months into 2010 we had three massive earthquakes: the most devastating one being Haiti, where more than 230,000 people died and millions homeless; followed by the largest tsunami scare in the world with its epicenter in Chile; and a recent one in Turkey. Now now, THREE earthquakes in different parts of the world within two and a half months? This is unprecedented. Something must've  gone seriously wrong.

For Haiti, the earthquake's massive death toll has hit one of history's most horrific earthquakes. And on such a poor country! Refugees are left hungry, starving, homeless, pointless... it will be very hard for the nation to rebuild, but help is definitely on the way. As for Chile, not as many died, but the earthquake on the coast of South America propagated waves across the pacific, triggering tsunami alerts along the arc of pacific's opposite end - from Japan to New Zealand. But in the end, the tidal waves subsided and did not have enough pace to make it all the way to Asia.

Even back in Malaysia - we had possibly the hottest Chinese New Year season in a decade. The temperature was so freakin' hot along the tropics we literally burned. Droughts happened all over Malaysia's rural areas, including Johor, Pahang and Perak. Where had the rain gone to? In East Malaysia, not only was there drought, there were forest fires which made the air quality bad - like Indonesia. The weather, climate and meteorological conditions of the world are worsening, and going upside down!

Have the tectonic plates of the world moved? Has global warming an effect on the Earth's crust? Had God come to punish us? If so, why would He punish by killing hundreds of thousands of innocent citizens in Haiti?

Questions are left to be answered, but 2012 is already starting. If this is how the end of the world would look like, killing country by country, population by population; we'll have nowhere to run to.

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This happened quite a long time ago, back when I was in primary school, naïve and innocent. So I had a large gash across my right thumb, but right now looking back I'm not sure why and how I got it. It was quite a deep wound, splitting apart the epidermis like a crevasse cutting across a cliff. Blood oozed out constantly, and I needed some heavy bandaging. It wasn't at any rate more painful than a muscle cramp, but I began to worry about something else rather.

I was going overseas soon, and being the naïve and innocent boy I was, I worried about going through the passport immigration thumb-print scans. I was worried that my fingerprint would be in a mess and the system would not recognise it. So when the day came, my wound was fully healed, but yet there was a scar there. The scar could potentially jeopardise everything, including my identity! So I went through the scans with my heart thumping fast - and oh! I managed to go through. The computer read my fingerprint as if nothing happened - it couldn't read the scar.

I stared in wonder at my scarred thumb. There was indeed a scar - but more to it. Beneath the scar, the impressions of friction ridges actually grew back to what it used to be, and indirectly identifying me as myself. I eked out a smirk and marched on.

Human biology works wonders. No matter what, our cells are so adaptable to changes. It is a part of human evolution that keeps us alive. Certain diseases we can grow immune to, certain defects to our biology we can outgrow, certain sicknesses we can cure ourselves without the help of drugs and medicine. Homeostasis and immunity are examples of the gifts from God that keep us alive and thriving in this world.

Like my case, even though I temporarily lost my fingerprint - and my identity - the cells grew back to their original alignment. They formed the friction ridges (raised portions of the epidermis) based on the DNA code message in my body, which in turn, replicated my fingerprint.

It is a beautiful part of human science we must appreciate. Protect your health. Love your body!

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I was reading the newspapers not long ago and I came across this: Richest People in Malaysia. Yes, finally something financially interesting to read. So, the report began, amidst this economic turmoil, Malaysia's richest men and women just got richer in 2009. And it went blablabla about how much money these people made in 2009, millions and billions worth of ringgit. Of how they will spur the economy of the nation. But I overlooked the report, perhaps too much.

Here's the list of richest Malaysians...
1    Robert Kuok
2    Ananda Krishnan
3    Lee Shin Cheng
4    Lee Kim Hua
5    Teh Hong Piow
6    Quek Leng Chan
7    Yeoh Tiong Lay
8    Syed Mokhtar al-Bukhary
9    Tiong Hiew King
10  Vincent Tan

Okay, here's the thing. I always notice things people don't. And I'm not having any preference or prejudice in my statement here. It is just too obvious. I mean, look at the list! Besides Ananda Krishnan and Syed Mokhtar, the rest of them. They are all Chinese. Why, when in Malaysia, Chinese are considered a minority community and have a declining percentage count in population, do Chinese still monopolise the financial economy of the country? After so many years of Malaysian Independence, are the Chinese still the dominant driving force in terms of making money?

Malaysian Chinese have always been considered the Jews of the East. They were never considered as natives of the homeland, and therefore no such thing as bumiputera privileges for them. Malaysian Chinese are considered foreign no matter where they go, even back to the motherland China. Yet, they are able to adapt to new environments with relative ease, and strive from there.

Chinese have always been considered to be the most enterprising people in the world. And so it is proved: The Chinese, with their strong businessman sixth sense, are great entrepreneurs no matter where they are. Perhaps the best evidence is this: even before the British came to back-then Malaya, the Chinese were already trading and establishing diplomatic ties with Malaya. Most Chinese settled here as a result of the torrential monsoon jeopardising their journeys. This happened way way before the Industrial Revolution, as the Chinese were already exploiting the Malaya's rich resources with tin ore mining. Using the traditional methods, they excavated the land considered to be Tanah Melayu.

And so the British came, bringing in Chinese immigrants en masse to mine tin ore in order to cope with the demands of the Industrial Revolution back in Europe. It was like handing a pillow to a yawning man - the Chinese pounced on the opportunity to unearth Malaya's rich tin ore resource. Immediately after the Second World War, the price of tin plunged, and yet the Chinese were not left jobless - they started small businesses and were the pioneers of the country's economic growth. The Chinese community soon grew to be Malaysia's greatest assets in terms of money-making and cultural diversity.

And so with the country's independence and British leaving us out in the cold, the major races of Malaysia joined forces - with a sense of respect towards each other - to form a better country. We all had our advantages, the Malays being the backbone of the nation; the Chinese being masters of business, finance and economy; and the Indians being as versatile and adaptable as the way they are.

But deep inside, we all know that it was the Chinese who brought this nation to life, being the very first Malaysian entrepreneurs back when the British Empire ruled with an iron fist. Even though the Chinese are not natives or bumiputera of any kind, the Chinese still flourish and prosper in this potentially prosperous land - Malaysia.

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Sweat was dribbling down my face, and I cursed myself for not switching on that damn fan. Immediately after picking up my instrument I was reluctant to get off it just to switch on the bloody fan. So there I was, my fingers dancing across the fingerboard with adequate strength and gusto to amplify the raw emotions of the song.

It was a sad, slow and tender song known as Schindler's List Theme (for solo violins). Images of the horrors of war brought to the Jews in Europe back during World War II flashed across my mind, just as a phrase of the song ended with a long note. With all my might, I conjured the best vibrato I've ever done before, projecting a concrete melancholic effect. And then I paused. The next part of the song was simply too difficult.

But I noticed something else. There was an eerie silence around me. It was quiet. Too quiet.

More images of the blood and gore of World War II flashed across my mind instantaneously. The sadness of the song injected that sense of insecurity inside me, made me timid and afraid. What the heck? The piece was supposed to picture the utter obliteration of an entire human population, the sorrow of losing everyone alongside you, the wretched sense of hopelessness. Why was I playing this song? It's not as if I'm attending a funeral of some sort.

The immediate silence made the hair behind my neck literally stand up. Goosebumps popped all over me. My heart fell like it was suspended in a void by threads yet weighed down by fear. It was in an insecure position, ready to collapse anytime soon.

I was alone.

I realised, I was sweating even more. My hands shivering, I put down my violin and spun back the computer to check my e-mail. Yet again, gruesome pictures of the genocide of the Jewish population in Europe flashed before my eyes. It was etched in my mind - that experience just now.

To conclude, I'm impressed by this piece of music. After that shock and awe experience, I realised how a splendid piece of artistry can emotionally affect someone. It's not just the notes, the clefs, the rests written on a paper. It's all about the passion within the musician.

Perhaps for that moment I did have some passion. It all happened mainly because I was alone. Here I quote Mr Lam (a music maestro I personally know) - "We play our best music when we are alone." We play it best because we're not trying to showcase our skills, but we play to please ourselves. Also when we're alone, we do not feel nervous. We just... play.

So, playing violin alone at night is spooky and not for the faint-hearted. (Only applies to sad, dark songs)

P.S. Schindler's List is a movie based on World War II set in Poland. It is very much related to the Holocaust (massacre of Jewish people) and is a very depressing show. The music - the main theme song - is beautiful. John Williams did an awesome job in composing this masterpiece.

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