1/3 of my form 4 life is already gone.

 

Because its March and the exams made me realize that! Three exam terms we have in CHS, correct? So, as one is coming and going, it also means 1/3 of my form 4 life is...gone. Well, almost gone.

It still feels like the first day, honestly. Until now, there are certain classmates that I don't speak to, due to different interests. Oh, well. But as time goes by we are forced to at least communicate with, thanks to the exams that will be beginning...tomorrow. Awesome. Anyhow, Form 4 is different from Form 3. Life gets more challenging. Life gets more stressful. Life continues being one heck of a ride. Life gives me FOUR EXTRA SUBJECTS which messes up my brain. : ( Physics is the worst because its sooo abstract and it is (according to people) a traditional BOYS SUBJECT. Chemistry doesn't do wonders on me because my one-track-mind makes me impossible to think of other probabilities. Biology is, well, Biology. I don't like Mod Math because my Add Math is better than my Mod Math. Form 4, memang...stressful punya. Whoever said its a honeymoon is very, very wrong indeed. Well, every teacher has been telling me that. So that phrase is kinda drilled into my head.

And I see the effects of the exam on everyone, as usual. Extreme grumpiness, full library, and comparing between students.

Everyone's kiasu. But sometimes the comparing bit gets a bit irritating. Because everyone starts lying.

Example : "Hey, have you studied? I HAVEN'T STUDIED ANYYYYTHIIIIIIING. I TOTALLY BLUR. I TOTALLY DON'T KNOW ANYTHING T_T I'm so scareddddddddd."

...And then they come out getting top in the class!

HOW WHAT WHY! I can say the exact same phrases but don't get top in the class. Maybe its the unhealthy studying method that I use, aka sleep at 3am wake up 5.30am sleep in class come home study. And I need noisy music. Otherwise cannot concentrate. Some students need extreme stillness. Some need to be at a particular place. Everyone uses different sort of study methods, I wonder what other interesting methods they use?

Seems like relaxation is needed. Therefore, computer time (aka now.) Piano time. I actually like piano time. Its a good time to play out all your emotions through those black and white keys. SLEEP TIME. Simply amazing. Besides, its getting harder and harder to sleep in school because the teachers don't like it. They make me stand up in class. : ( Not fun.

And seriously, does ponteng-ing class to study work? Because my mum doesn't believe in that fact.

"OH. YOU WANT TO RELAX AT HOME IS IT. NO. GO TO SCHOOL. YOU BETTER DON'T FAIL. IF NOT, I WILL LOCK UP YOUR COMPUTER, CONFISCATE YOUR PHONE, AND GIVE YOU 4 EXTRA TUITIONS."

So it seems like I have no choice but to put in some effort if I don't want life to be a living hell. And somehow the teachers choose this time to THREATEN, with the annoying sistem pemotongan markah. Everything don't do? Minus mark. Don't do work? Minus mark. Talk a lot? Minus mark. CLASS NOT CLEAN? Threaten also. They're hanging our lives on a thread with this system! How irritating. But it works on the boys, though. Sometimes. Only sometimes.

Oh, well. Time to hit the books. And yes I sound very nerdy in this post. Because all the lecturings from the teachers have taken a toll on me. Believe it or not, one girl approached me in class and was being very friendly to me, which made me wonder why due to the fact that normally she doesn't even ACKNOWLEDGE MY EXISTENCE. And then I found out that it was because she needed help in her studies...she made me sound so nerdy. See, exams make everyone communicate, whether we like it or not. I wish I could tell her I have an interesting, full-of-loopholes life. I have music, I have the people around me (good and bad), I have lots of thingies that circle around me (like those electrons that circle the atom. See, I'm severely affected). Its just that I know when to put my priorities when I need to. : ) !!

And hopefully everyone will be SMILING MORE after exam. Seriously, we need a bit of cheer in this school! Its not fun now, but hopefully it'll be fun later on.

The worst merentas desa…

...Is being not able to finish the race thanks to a very, VERY crappy stomach.

I did not even manage to finish half the track. The pain started after 10 minutes of the race. And it was excruciating. Had to stop or I would throw up/faint/experience something unpleasant. So I thought if I stopped jogging and started walking, the pain would subside. But it didn't. So Pn Azizah had to take me back to school and the QMs removed my front number and informed me that I was disqualified.

Being "disqualified" did not feel good. Of course I was disappointed that I had to get sick on a day like this. And I wanted to get some points for Merah. But I guess there was nothing else that I could have done, it was either 1) continue and experience the stuff mentioned above, or 2) turn back and save myself from worse humiliation, and to save my stomach as well. Hey, I DID try to continue, but things just didn't work.

However, the results this year were surprising. Ungu getting first was expected, they seem to have the talented runners in their house every year. Merah got 2nd and then THAT was surprising. I guess the "ups and downs" moment had arrived. Nevertheless, the other houses were brilliant too, especially Hijau, which I thought put in quite a decent bit of effort. No matter how hard the sun shined down on the people, they still cheered for their houses in hoarse voices and creative chants. I found out that these events really do test the cooperation of various teammates. If you cooperate you get awesome remarks. If you don't...well, you just get the opposite.

Oh well. I think I better start training if I want to get something nice for myself next year, aka the final year.

Anyway, congratulations to those who won. You all are so amazing! And to those who got points, you all are the one who helps the houses fight their way to victory. Viva la vida CHS.

The hype vs the gloom.

I may immerse myself in the huge load of western culture. Trance, hiphop, hardstyle, you name it.

But what the heck. CNY is coming and the CHINESE hype is back.

What happens during CNY? Generally. Pack bags. Hear people screaming at each other to buy CNY cookies. Hear parents argue over CNY matters. Sit in the car. Pay toll. Pay for petrol. See the trees go by. Return to hometown. See kids screaming. See fireworks blasting. Hear CNY music booming. You have steamboats. Shark fin. (sorry, environmentalists.) Saying hi to aunties uncles grandmas with the sweetest smile on your face and hear them say, "OH SHE LOOKS SO MATURE ALREADY." Eat all the food in the kampung because food there is generally better and cheaper compared to KL.

Kedah laksa is the best laksa of all. Kid you not. And the cendol? Amazing.

Anyway anyway.

The best part of CNY is to feel the NEW, FRESH MONEY straight out from ATM machines on your fingers. Really.

Okay that made me sound like such a money-minded person. But, CNY hype is memang CNY hype.

And then you have the gloom. Gloom which is like, gloom. Because is it just me or is it just because my brain is frozen and I can't concentrate on anything properly? People ask me, which subject are you having trouble with. I honestly answer, EVERYTHING, because I just can't concentrate. You know, 4s1 is directly above the KH room. And the smell of cookies actually waft into the classroom every 5 minutes. Concentrating on the smell of cookies is actually more appealing than concentrating on physics. Scary right.

Maybe its the fact that exam is coming 2 weeks after CNY and CNY is not too far away which means that the exams can't be too far away too.

And the consequences of failing is unpleasant.

And then I realized I might have been a little too ambitious. Sign up for everything under the sky and get prepared for one heck of a ride in life. Procrastinate like nothing and get the bad results of last-minute-work on your head.

Oh, well. For now its like hype and gloom, with gloom overriding hype for a while. But hopefully next week the hype will override the gloom so that things would turn out okay. (: It will be fine. I hope.

Form 4 life is gonna be thrilling.

...because so many things are unknown, so many things are new, and every problem seems to fall on you.

Its the sweet 16 year and its also the year of going through the roller coaster ride.

Yesterday's Gerko day was the first Gerko I've ever participated in (as a helper), instead of visiting its stalls accompanied by two or three giggling friends. This was the first time I went around ambushing people instead of being ambushed by others.

And, even though it was hectic, but it was pretty fun.

Like I said, Form 4 life is gonna be so darn thrilling. Can't wait.

Bad to worse?

The most recent ominous event (which I'm sure you all know what it is) is a bad beginning for the year 2010.

Let's hope this country doesn't evolve to Iran, it'll be a CS turned to reality.

Some people refuse to see the sense, with the mindset that violence is the way to paradise - that violence is the way to solve it all. Where is the truth in that? Most importantly, where is the darn sense in that?

They assume the 'A' belongs to them, but shouldn't it be the other way round, that the people belong to 'A'? Who is more almighty, come on lah, it won't take you a second to guess.

And, with incidents like this happening, what the heck is the use of our so-called '1Malaysia'? The government can go all out to support this, but not everyone is willing to comply. As expected, of course.

A funny thought struck me. Our school is CHS (hint : C.) Should we start bringing in metal detectors? (: LOL.

Perhaps there’s more than that to life.

Life is not all about going, "Oh, I chipped my nails, and the world is going to end in 3 minutes."

If life was like that, the universe would be in chaos already.

My sister is studying medical. When she was young, she always changed her ambitions, from a policewoman to a vet to something odd. My brother who is doing economics and law has no idea what he really likes and what he really wants to do.

But for me, ever since I was 6, I had decided what I liked, and I had decided what kind of field I wanted to work in when I was grown up.

That's what life is about - chasing your dreams - accepting challenges - meeting new people . Hating, loving, wondering - being alive.

I'll cut the story short.

I don't know why the heck I am in Science stream.

: )

In the holidays I complain that I want to return to school, when I return to school I want to remain in the holidays.

How ironic is it.

Anyway, Form 4 is the time when everyone gets separated from their respective classes and gets shuffled by the idiotic school administrators. Never will I forget the moment of immense anticipation when looking at the boards near the pejabat.

My class this year is an odd concoction of lalas, gangsters, Aclasspeople, Bclasspeople, etcetc...

And yeah, cliches. We stay with our own friends. You stay with your friends I stay with my friends. I don't know you you don't know me they don't know us. Naturally, I'm not happy at the school administrators for placing me in this class. And a lot of people agree with me too.

I've even thought about switching stream, because the going is getting tough. Besides, art has always been a passion of mine. Why not pursue it. The thing is, learning Sciences has its own advantages, regardless of how stupid it may sound. And then there's the thing about satisfying one's parents. But still, one can dream about switching stream and having fun while everyone crams their head for a Chem test.

Ah well...the ironies of life continue...

To melangkah to the future.

autumn

It has been confirmed that the PMR results will be out on 24th December, aka having the ability to ruin or rock the lives of the Form 3 students before Christmas.

I'm a Form 3 student but I won't be around on that time. So...what am I missing out? Students squeezed in the hall, staring at each other with terror in their eyes? Ranting out on what subject was the worst, jumpning if you get 8As, crying if you get none, etc etc?

No, I'm so glad that I'll be missing all of these.

But yes, I'm still worried. Anyway, as all seniors have said, SPM is the real deal, not PMR. When I grow up and begin working, no one will care about what you have scored for PMR. Perhaps to us Form 3 students it means the world, but in the future I know it would just have been a miniscule test that we all go through.

This year has been awesome and horrible, in many many ways. To smile, to laugh with the people you are familiar with is a simple yet luxurious joy. To meet against the many challenges with a heart full of doubt, to participate in new things, to see so many unfamiliar faces and to plunge into a world full of unknown...all these were what I faced, and will continue to face next year.

Admittedly, there were times when life was not going well at all. But no matter what happened, life still went on. Time never stopped. Everything went on, per normal. Tough things happened, tough decisions made. It came, it went, just like a wave passing through the ocean. What the heck, it's all a part of life. In fact, this isn't even the real REALITY yet.
black-and-white-beachTo melangkah to the future is a wondrous thought. Who knows what's going to happen in the future, to this country, to this school, to everyone, to myself. I hope the crappy days will lessen and the wonderful things will happen more.

P/S : Ohmyplease don't let me get a B for BM.

Conmen? Ew…

KL is really, really a modern town that contains everything you need. Its so awesome that you just can't get enough of it.

But of course it has its ugly sides, e.g traffic jam (doesn't really matter if you take public transport), robbery, etc...

Today, my brother, my sister and I were walking towards the KL Central LRT station. Then there was a guy that pounced on my brother in this ferocious way, asked my brother to open a card. Brother did, and this guy claimed that my brother won a prize. He sounded so excited, more excited than my brother. Which is kinda funny because the person who won the prize should be more excited instead.

So, we started asking questions. He had no company card. And the funniest thing of all, he said that we had to get the prize now. And to do so, we had to sit in HIS car, and go to the company. When we asked for his company card, HE DIDN'T HAVE IT.

Very funny hor?

"Uh huh, why can't we bring this...card thingy back home and think it over?"

Then the person gave some bullshit excuse and said that this card cannot be passed to relatives, etc, etc.

Sounds like a con, isn't it?

The worst thing is, my brother nearly fell for it. My sister and I had to literally pull his hand and drag him away.

For one thing, this person sounded very eager. Too eager, in fact. Another thing, this person didn't have the company card, or name, for that matter. Come on, if you were really genuine, you would at least have a company card. Thirdly, you wouldn't be standing opposite the KL Central LRT station jumping on people like that, you would be in a shopping mall or something.

So...people, beware of these tricksters. And don't end up like my gullible brother who almost believed.

Twilight, and now…New Moon?

newmoonWhen I mentioned "New Moon" to my brother, he said, "Oh, THAT one. All high school girls are having dreams about Robert Pattinson!"

Actually, on the contrary! A LOT of girls think that Robert Pattinson is NOT HOT. At least, not in this vampire movie. For one, there's too much makeup. The contrast is really obvious when he stands next to Bella, and...is that me or is that purple eyeshadow I see? To me, that's...not hot. At all. Au natural is the way to go.

Anyway, on my most honest opinions on this movie?

...Well, there are SOME books that SHOULD stay as books. And perhaps this may be one of them.

From memory, the first book - Twilight - wasn't impressive on screen. There are many things that cannot be acted out, including the thoughts of people, the tiny details that are described. In the end, the first movie was so slow-paced that I ended up yawning in the cinema.

The second movie this year - New Moon - isn't that bad, as it delves deeper into the plot, introducing the Volturi, and having some more detailed fight scenes.

However, no matter how you look at it, the entire story has only quite a simple plot, as my brother wisely calls it - "high school show plot".

Then, what is it that makes so many people attracted to that show?

My theory - perhaps it is the romance. Not the usual human romance, this human-vampire relationship actually means a lot. It shows that regardless of whatever difference two parties have, they can still fall in love and do everything a couple should do. Its the psychology of it - that in all the whirlwind of chaos and all, love can still make everything right, can pull everyone together. Or perhaps some people just want to satisfy themselves by watching it and believe that they will obtain satisfactory love someday.

A lot of girls have the vampire fetish nowadays. And producers are quickly using their creativity to spin out vampire-related stories. Twilight sagas, the anime Vampire Knight, etc, etc...in these stories, the vampires are always perfect-looking, with beautifully sculpted figures, all of that. The girls probably have the wish to have such perfect husbands. LOL. But until now I can't really figure out the reason for the vampire fetish.

Next time, if I ever make a story about a vampire, it would be about a NORMAL vampire, not a PERFECT one. : D

2012 is still betterrrrrrr!!